There’s nothing micro about looking for tickets to take a trip to Bangkok and, this past week I found myself looking for flights online. Why Bangkok? I don’t know. I’ll admit I didn’t even know Bangkok was in Thailand till I looked it up, and wonder where my mind was at, and what was I thinking deep down inside. Why does everything always seem to have to be all about extremes? I mean I barely leave Downtown LA. I don’t speak the language but, I like Thai food and that 80’s song One Night In Bangkok. But, are these legitimate reasons to jump on a plane to some foreign land? I don’t even know the regions, so I have to take a step back and ask myself, what am I doing? Why do I need some huge outlandish vacation? Then it hit me: I need to take a micro vacation.
My definition of a micro vacation might be domestic like going to NYC. Or, maybe I stay in the state of California and go to Napa Valley or something. I’ve heard of “staycations” which is when you stay in town but spend a weekend at a hotel. Yeah, I can do that but, that’s not enough for me and spending money to stay in some hotel down the block seems like a waste. That doesn’t sound exciting so, a staycation is not in my cards. Therefore, I’m going to pull back on the massive Bangkok trip, and focus on something in Cali.
But going back to my original question, where is my mind that I even entertained the idea to jump on a plane and ride half way across the world? I’m not manic so that’s not an excuse. When I was a junior in college I remember walking across campus one day, and out of nowhere had this idea to go study abroad and live in England, and the next thing I know I’m living in England. I literally had the thought, and made it happen. But that was back when I was manic, back when I reacted to whatever thoughts entered my mind without any hesitation or rumination. I’m not manic anymore. I take medication to curb rapid fire thoughts so it was kinda disconcerting that I had this manic moment where I was considering going to Thailand. So, it’s alarming to me that my mind shifted this week.
But I had a health scare. I had an abnormal mammogram that required another mammogram, and an ultrasound only the find out it was just “deep tissue.” Whatever that means. It’s funny how our mind works when faced with what could have been a life threatening disease. Cancer runs in my family so, it’s not like I haven’t mentally prepared myself for the likeliness that I may end up with cancer, but, when you are actually faced with the notion, or reality, it hits home. So, it’s no wonder I had some need to escape my life, and spend a week or so in some random country.
I think it’s important to take trips. I think it’s important to get outside of your comfort zone, and try new things. But it’s more important to understand why you feel the need to go somewhere. Only now, looking back on my week, do I realize I was acting out. I was not dealing with the potential of having cancer. I wasn’t acting rational at all. Like I said, as embarrassing as it is to admit, I didn’t even know Bangkok was in Thailand so, maybe think baby steps. Not everything has to be on a massive scale, and if a staycation seems lame to you, consider the alternative: A micro vacation.