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Woman-to-Woman & Being The Other Woman

I have struggled with sharing this, but I think it’s important to have an open dialogue about cheating and infidelity. Recently, I was faced with a dilemma that I had difficulty grappling with:

What do you do when you find out you are the other woman?

Alright here goes.  Last week I was with a person that I thought I was in a relationship with, and I saw a call come in from another woman on his phone from his past. In that moment I was like ok, that’s odd, and I didn’t say anything.  Later that night I went on Facebook cause I was curious about the situation.  You have to be pretty oblivious in modern times to cheat on someone and post pics, and not think people are going to find out but, not everyone gets burned by social media enough to know what’s up. So there I see the profile pic of the other girl that had called earlier standing with who I thought was my guy, and it hit me that I was the other woman.  It was devastating.  I sat there and thought about what was the right thing to do. Walk away and never say anything and cut all ties? That was an option, but, I thought about it and wondered would I want to know?  I wasn’t sure. Since I didn’t have an answer to that question I decided to let it go, for now. I didn’t want to make a rash emotional response cause that wasn’t going to be the right thing for me, and life has taught me that making decisions in those heart wrenching  moments is never good.

The next day I got messengered via Facebook from this person saying, “Call me 555-1212.” Again, I was caught in a serious dilemma and didn’t know what to do. What did she know? What has transpired? I tried to put myself in her shoes, (why do I even care) but I did, and thought what would I want given the sad situation. I didn’t want to come across as angry or retaliatory cause I made the decision to try and show compassion. I consulted with other women that I look up to, and they said woman-to-woman make the call. I consulted with a couple of my male friends, and they said not to make the call and just walk away. Interesting that the men were adamant about not alerting the other woman while the women said to make the call.

Anyway, I thought about it, prayed on it, and decided to pick up the phone. Ok. Now bad turned to worse.  Here I am thinking I am doing the right thing as the other woman, and when she picked up her phone she immediately handed it to the guy. Wow! So much for transparency and watching out for your fellow gender. And so much for waiting to think things through when I could have had a conversation with her days ago right off the bat before the guy had time tocraft a lie to get out of it. So when she handed over the phone, he said some unkind things to say to me and I hung up.

So now I have to accept the fact that I ended up looking like the crazy one, and he gets to keep on with his sociopathic behavior, and doesn’t get checked. It all makes me sick. I hope to never be in this situation again but, I’ve come to realize that when you are in deep with a master manipulator, just be grateful that you got out. Maybe it’s not under the condition that you want, but at least I can say woman-to-woman that I tried.

So help me God!

Woman-to-Woman & Being The Other Woman

Erica Loberg

Erica Loberg was born and raised in Los Angeles, CA. She attended Columbia University in New York and graduated with a BA in English. She is a published poet and author of Inside the Insane, Screaming at the Void, What Men Should Know About Women, What Women Should Know About Men, Diamonds From The Rough and Undressed.

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APA Reference
Loberg, E. (2018). Woman-to-Woman & Being The Other Woman. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 23, 2019, from


Last updated: 9 Aug 2018
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