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Sexual Fluidity: A Threesome?

Why me? That is the first thing that popped into my head. Recently I was out on the town enjoying a beer at my local bar. I have no problem going out alone, and enjoy meeting random new people. Needless to say, on this particular occasion, I found myself in a surprising, and confusing situation.

I was chatting with people at the bar when a couple, a man and a woman, sat down beside me. We started talking and the next thing I know they asked me if I would be interested in a threesome. Ah…what? I’ve seen a lot, experienced a lot, but not that; I was confused.  An array of questions fluttered my mind. Did I look slutty? Did I look desperate? Did I look open minded?  Did I look like a lesbian? Did I look like someone that you approach with such a thing? And what does that someone look like anyway to begin with?

I didn’t know quite how to respond, other then to kindly reject the idea but, was I supposed to thank them for the proposition like it was some kind of compliment or something? Again, I was confused. I quickly changed the subject, and finished my beer.

When I walked home I thought about my early manic years in NYC. Out of all the wild times I never had a couple approached me for a threesome. Have I had girls hit on me? Sure. I am not gay but, I can appreciate the compliment. Just as long as I am considered the “lipstick” lesbian, and not the “femme” lesbian (also known as “butch” but I don’t know if that is politically correct anymore and I’m not out to offend anyone.) But what about the guy in the threesome. Where was his mind at?  It has been said that guys are attracted to girl on girl action. I’m not sure why when women don’t seem to be interested in man on man action, but, new studies show that sexual fluidity is more common then we thought.

I’ve given thought to my sexuality cause although I am female, I feel like parts of my soul and ID are masculine. I wonder if that somehow emanates from my being allowing me to come across as someone that is open to being approached for a threesome. Has my age allowed me evolve into someone that appears to be not 100% heterosexual?

When I examine my books I see something interesting. In one of my latest books, “What Women Should Know About Men,” I wrote poetry on sexuality from a males perspective. Some guys responses were you don’t know what it’s like to be a guy, how dare you. Then others were somewhat awestruck that I could produce writing that reflects the masculine mind. To be honest, I wrote from a males perspective cause it was fun, different, I was bored with myself, and wanted to try something new.  But, I can’t help shake the idea that I was able to produce such language and experiences of male sexuality and I am female.

I’m proud of that book despite different responses on the spectrum. But if sexual fluidity is becoming more prevalent, I expect people to respond more openly and show interest in a writer coming from a males perspective.  And when it comes to homosexuals they seemed to eat it up and love it. Why is that the case I don’t know. Do I harbor some penis envy, quite frankly, yes. So does that explain the execution of the literature? Possibly.

When it boils down to it, I don’t have the answer to as to why I was asked to have a threesome. It’s probably a bunch of things that led to that proposition, but, as I move forward in life, I will continue to explore through my books parts of me that share masculine and feminine sentiments even if on the surface I would never be one to even think I would be considered for a threesome.

But I am.

Sexual Fluidity: A Threesome?

Erica Loberg

Erica Loberg was born and raised in Los Angeles, CA. She attended Columbia University in New York and graduated with a BA in English. She is a published poet and author of Inside the Insane, Screaming at the Void, What Men Should Know About Women, What Women Should Know About Men, Diamonds From The Rough and Undressed.


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APA Reference
Loberg, E. (2018). Sexual Fluidity: A Threesome?. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 17, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/manic-depression/2018/03/26/sexual-fluidity-a-threesome/

 

Last updated: 26 Mar 2018
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 26 Mar 2018
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.