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I Blocked Him, So Now What

You can block calls, you can block texts, and you can block emails. But emails are never completely gone. It’s called junk mail, and it’s all there, so now what do you do?

After months of laboring over should I block or not block my ex, I finally blocked him then got hit up via email so, I blocked that too. I was free, at least I thought I was. No more back and forth, blocking and unblocking. I was set. I was good to go.

Then one day I was looking for a phone number and went to my junk folder thinking maybe somehow that number ended up there, and BOOM!  There it was…. all the blocked emails from my ex sitting there, waiting. The bold text stared me down indicating that they had not been opened, or read yet. I only read one email, ONE, and my whole world came down. It was not a nice email and am not going to even talk about it but…

So now I was met with a new predicament.  Before it was to block, or not to block, but now when I’ve finally been able to block him officially, I have an opportunity to read the “blocked” emails, aka junk folder.

I decided not to go there; not to open or read any of them. However, as I sit here now, I know there are emails left in that box. And I experience fleeting moments when I consider opening them, maybe just read one or two, then I think what will that serve?  It will only keep me attached, keep the rollercoaster going, keep me engaged, make me sad. So no.

But I have to admit, I haven’t trashed the whole folder, yet. I don’t know why I keep them there when I have no intention of reading them but I do.  Then I think, even if I do trash the folder, does that permanently delete all the emails? I don’t know. I’m not going to try. I’m going to let those emails sit there and just like when I went back and forth blocking and unblocking, now I go back and forth thinking about WHAT exactly did I block?

For now, I’m staying away from it. I made the decision to block for a reason, so just because technology stands in my way — making it virtually impossible to permanently delete someone from my life — I will not fold.

Everything will remain JUNK!

I Blocked Him, So Now What

Erica Loberg

Erica Loberg was born and raised in Los Angeles, CA. She attended Columbia University in New York and graduated with a BA in English. She is a published poet and author of Inside the Insane, Screaming at the Void, What Men Should Know About Women, What Women Should Know About Men, and Diamonds From The Rough.


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APA Reference
Loberg, E. (2017). I Blocked Him, So Now What. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 19, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/manic-depression/2017/10/30/i-blocked-him-so-now-what/

 

Last updated: 31 Oct 2017
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 31 Oct 2017
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.