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Are You, Messing With Me?

Some people say the way to get back at someone is to live a happy life.  Some say show me a loser, and I’ll show you a loser. A competitive spirit can be a condition that is really hard to tame, and can cause problems in life, which begs the question when should we walk away and be the “better person” and do our best to live a happy life, or use that competitive spirit to right a wrong.  For example, if we are presented with a problem that allows us to chose to walk away, or choose to fight, which path would you take?

It’s complicated.

Let’s take the first statement. I’m not seeking revenge on anyone, but, I can’t help but feel my competitive spirit grow in me when I am slighted, put down, or someone gets “the best of me” in any given situation. When that happens I could care less if living a happy life is the best thing to “win” against a competitor.

Here is a real life example, cause I’m not talking about petty fights or competitions, I’m talking about the real deal.

My mother was conserved by a crook named Jeffrey Siegel out of Los Angeles California.  He has a long record of stealing money from vulnerable elderly women.  Every victory he has drives me up the wall, and makes me sick. Sick enough that people advise me to walk away.  But, I can’t. I know I should, I know my attempts will end in failures, but I can’t stop the competitive nature inside me.

My mother was hospitalized this week and no one called me. The conservator, nor his staff, ever informed me. I found out randomly through the grapevine that she was admitted to the hospital.

Since her conservatorship, he has gotten away with removing all my mothers assets from her house, (where those items went I have no idea), renovated that house (which she was manipulated into doing) and now, I have to draw a line in the madness.

So here I am.  Still no response from the conservator and she’s back at home, and I’m supposed to sit and wait for the next incident and hope I find out somehow through some means?

I know this conservator has successfully ruined families across New York and Los Angeles and, no I am not a martyr or anything but despite the facts, and the history of losing from those that have run up against him, I can’t put down my sword.

I might plummet into a mad like depression, take my own mental health stability to the max, just to “win,” which is stupid? Unorthodox? Necessary? I don’t know.

I’m trying to redefining the competitive spirit.  I am trying to find a way to mange it, but find one major obstacle in all this: Principle.

When you are a principled person, coupled with a competitive spirit, it is almost impossible to walk away.

A competitive spirit is ingrained in me, so when things aren’t right, and my principles are challenged, if I get knocked down, I’ll get back up cause that’s all I know when I believe things are not right.

If you have a competitive spirit, find a way to use it for your stability, your righteousness, and living a life that you think is right.

At the end of the day, if you have principles and a competitive spirit, you might as well put a rugby jersey on. I’ll take a medium.

Game on.


Photo by elizaIO

Are You, Messing With Me?

Erica Loberg

Erica Loberg was born and raised in Los Angeles, CA. She attended Columbia University in New York and graduated with a BA in English. She is a published poet and author of Inside the Insane, Screaming at the Void, What Men Should Know About Women, What Women Should Know About Men, Diamonds From The Rough , Undressed, and I'm Not Playing.

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APA Reference
Loberg, E. (2017). Are You, Messing With Me?. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 13, 2020, from


Last updated: 25 Sep 2017
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