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The Toxicity of Jealousy

There is nothing to be jealous about.  But, apparently there is. And it has gotten to the point where it is hindering my daily life, and making me crazy. In fact, it brings me down and makes me self conscious. It’s easy to be a target of jealousy, but not easy to learn how to manage it cause someone always has something to say.

Jealousy can be manifested through compliments, when really it’s a lie, or a ruse.

My clothes, my hair, my shoes, my make-up, my eyebrows, my weight, my life.  Everyone has something to say about me everyday, and it’s not mean, but, it doesn’t feel like a compliment.  If it makes me feel bad then obviously it’s not.

Jealousy at the core is rooted in negativity, and, finding a way to dispel that negativity is hard especially when it comes across as a compliment.

There is a fine line between a compliment, and a jealous comment.  The tone, the delivery, the situation, the reason for the “compliment” can actually be flat out jealousy, and you end up feeling bad about yourself when isn’t the point of a compliment to make someone feel better?

It’s a weird reverse psychology. Sometimes you compliment someone, while you internally harbor jealousy towards them but, guess what, they can feel it. And you might not even realize you’re doing it.

Next time you compliment someone, are you really happy for their new dress?  Or, do you use a compliment to mask an underlying issue that they are dealing within. Envy.

Which is worse.


Photo by Thuy Pham

The Toxicity of Jealousy

Erica Loberg

Erica Loberg was born and raised in Los Angeles, CA. She attended Columbia University in New York and graduated with a BA in English. She is a published poet and author of Inside the Insane, Screaming at the Void, What Men Should Know About Women, What Women Should Know About Men, Diamonds From The Rough , Undressed, and I'm Not Playing.

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APA Reference
Loberg, E. (2017). The Toxicity of Jealousy. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 25, 2020, from


Last updated: 18 Sep 2017
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