I recently was thinking about the bizarre relationship with being fearful and fearless both at the same time, which doesn’t make any sense to me.

I have a new book coming out and it might be the most provocative book that I have written to date. It’s a collection of poetry written from a male’s perspective and is described as the following:

What Women Should Know About Men is a jaw dropping book of poems manifesting the intricacies of relationships and experiences of sexuality. These poems are fearless in their exploration of the human condition, exposing the heart, mind, and soul of a modern day poet.

When I wrote it I was fearless, but reading it now I have become fearful. I found myself shocked at some of the content and verbiage I used in the text, but I had no problem expressing my fearless thoughts when I wrote it.

In the majority of my writings, I go all out and tend to push the envelope, which is intrinsic to my nature of fearlessness, but, somehow the thought of this being out there for the public eye made me a bit scared.

As a child I naturally acted with little qualms or trepidations, which often times got me in trouble, so I suppose that’s when fearfulness set in. As I got older and began writing, I continued to manifest fearless work, and even more so fearless behavior. Then on the flip side, I would find myself in situations where I was scared to open my mouth and communicate with people.  How can I have a fearless personality, but struggle with communication, especially when it comes to the men in my life? I am fearful of rejection along with other repercussions that accompany fearless behavior, so it doesn’t really make any sense to me.

How can I be both at the same time? I wrote a book that was fearless with topics that may cause discomfort to some readers, and now makes me want to hide under a rock, when really I should be like yeah!  I’m a hard core, all out honest woman ready to take on the world with themes that may cause a fierce response.

Maybe it was when the publisher said he had to pull a handful of poems out of the book cause they were too “squeamish” should have been a red flag to be ready for fear to set in.

They are not opposites, but somehow exist together, and I can only hope one day I can find a balance between the two.