“Everything’s always the Mother’s fault.” My Mom said this to me recently and it is not the first time she has said something along those lines. It’s kinda a cliché to blame everything wrong in someone’s life on their Mom, which is unfortunate, but I have often wondered if she really felt that way.
When I gave it some thought I began to think maybe some of my Mom’s struggles in life are my fault. She had to raise a hypo manic child with no knowledge of my condition. Growing up knew I was a handful, so some guilt started to set in.
So this time when she said it I stopped to reply and said, “Maybe it’s my fault.” In other words, maybe raising a manic depressive child took a toll on my Mother, and I need to take some responsibility for how my behavior might have caused her turmoil, and hardships that she had to endure as a result in her life. Possibly, my behavior could have worn her down, and had a negative effect on her own mental health.
Then I stop and think why isn’t the Father ever to blame for how a child turns out? It doesn’t seem fair.
In a culture that has phrases like “It’s all my Mothers fault” I think we need to step back and think really? I can’t imagine what it would be like to raise a Bipolar child and the ramifications of the illness affecting a person’s life. Especially a Mother.
Let’s give Moms a break ok.