I’ve been having trouble with my Mac Pro charger. When I put it in sometimes the light comes on indicating it is being charged, but, sometimes it doesn’t make the connection and doesn’t charge itself.
Last night it wasn’t making the connection. I had 5% left on the charger and just started watching that new ABC show “This is Us” when it shut down. I lost all the power, but, that’s cool, it has been acting up lately so I pulled out the chord and blew on it thinking it would remove dust or whatever was causing it not to connect, and it briefly worked. I was able to turn the computer back on, and start watching the show again. Then, it shut down, again. I removed the chord and pushed it back in hard and the light indicated it was being charged turned on, and then off. Then I pushed it in harder and it turned on, then off. Slowly my irritability started to rise. I acknowledged it, sat back, and took a deep breath. Then I sat up and tried it again. On, off, on, off. Breathe. Ok, it’s not the end of the world, you’re not watching your show tonight. You can watch it some other time.
As I sat there staring down my computer I thought back to my childhood when the littlest things would set me off. If my shoe laces got tied up and the knot was too tight to get undone, I would feel the irritability rise. I would take my teeth and bite at it to try and break it loose. And if that didn’t work, I would freak out. I couldn’t handle certain things and not feel overcome with uncontrollable irascibility when others didn’t seem to have a problem. Something so minor like untying a knot proved to be a major challenge, and a test of my ability to calmly handle the situation.
Last week I took out an old pair of dangly earrings. The gold chains were all knotted up. Again, I felt the irritability rise in my blood when I tried to undo the mess but, obviously I couldn’t take my teeth to the matter so, it put it down. I knew I was not going to be able to undo the knot, not cause I didn’t know how, but, I didn’t have the patience to slowly try to unknot it and God forbid I couldn’t figure it out and end up in a massive tizzy. So, I put it back in the case, and decided I would take it to the jewelry district right down the street from me and have one of the professionals take care of it. I know myself, and am aware of my symptoms, which makes it easier for me to manage my life.
I say this cause growing up I didn’t know one symptom of Bipolar II is irritability; neither did my parents. And, since my parents didn’t know, compared to my other siblings, I ended up being somewhat of a problem child. My impetuousness and inability to manage my emotions made me stand out in the family.
If you have a child that seems to struggle with little things, and happens to stand out in their behavior in the family, take note. They might not be a problem child, they may just be exhibiting symptoms of a mental illness. It can be the tiniest situations that can result in an uncontrollable outburst that can help you learn more about your child’s behavior, and potentially get them psychiatric help earlier then later down the line.