I don’t have it right now, and it occurred to me that I might run into my ex cause we both belong to the same gym. Then yesterday it happened. I walked toward my usual machine, got on, and started working out. I don’t really pay attention to other people around me at the gym; I keep to myself and try to stay in the zone. I had previously dreaded the thought of running into him but luckily hadn’t for months and now there he was, on another machine with his back to me, thank God.
The last few weeks I have looked at myself in the mirror before leaving the locker room to work out and have seen that my body is not what it used to be. I don’t weigh myself but I’d say given a good hard look I’ve gained about 10 pounds, and now running into my ex at the gym was a whole new nightmare .
So there I was on my machine and thought I can move to another machine at the opposite end of the gym, or I can just get up and leave all together, but my pride kept me there. Why should I move or leave or have him affect my work out? So I held my ground and stuck to my machine. I listened to my Top Gun soundtrack and although I did my best to completely ignore him, with my own weight gain on my mind, I had to check out his body. And guess what, he wasn’t sporting any hot revenge body either. He looked like he also had put on a few pounds. One might think this would make me feel some sense of relief cause I was not the only one but it didn’t. I felt bad cause I knew what it felt like to work out with extra weight. Then I started to feel bad that I was on another machine behind him so he couldn’t see me and make the decision to run for the hills.
But, having said that, I’m not going to lie, it made me feel a little better that I wasn’t alone in the weight gain, and that he wasn’t in the best shape, which is terrible, I know. But I also know if he looked great I would end up beating myself up the rest of the day, and find myself checking out my body in despair when I went back to the locker room to shower.
So maybe I do not have the hot skinny revenge body, but, I have come to realize we all have times we struggle to adjust to heartbreak. Some of us lose weight, some of us gain weight, but if you work out to prove a point or make someone jealous or whatever your wasting your time. And seeing my ex struggling with his workout only made me feel bad for him, and for me. So what if neither of us have a revenge body. I mean is there really such a thing to help mend a broken heart?