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Are you my Tinderella?

are you my tinderella?I had my first tinder date thing this past weekend and I think it is safe to say, I don’t think tinder dating is for me. I had been texting this guy here and there and when he asked to meet up I was like why not.  We decided to meet up for a drink and the minute he walked in, I knew it was a no go.  The guy was half my size.  I am not taking about height cause he was slightly taller than me but, he was petite and the thought of having sex with him put an image in my head of crushing him to death. On top of everything else his profile said “casual” and I didn’t know that meant sex until I ran into a friend of mine on the way to the date who said duh casual means he is interested in sex.  That was not my intention so did my best to come off boyish and platonic. I mean, what was I supposed to do, sit down and say FYI I am not interested in just having sex so if that’s your intention we should say sayonara. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. I felt bad.

I am usually a good judge of character but this time I was way off. When I decided it was time to go I said my goodbye and headed home. Within minutes my phone started blowing up with sex texts.  What? I will not disclose what they said cause it is not appropriate for this website but I was dumfounded.  Here I was thinking I had a nice friendly first tinder date and turns out I was mistakenly on a casual aka sex date, and was not prepared for the wild texts that came through. I didn’t respond, of course, till the next day when I took a snapshot of the texts to send to the friend that encouraged me to try tinder and accidently sent the texts to him. Yeah. I had no idea what to say when he inquired why I sent him a snapshot of his texts, and all I could think about was he must know I am sending it to someone else. My reply was so lame I can’t believe he bought it. So now I was back in the texting boat cause he started to ask me about my day, and I just couldn’t find a way to say I am not interested in casual, I am not interested in tiny men, I am not cut out for tinder, but I just couldn’t do it.

I truly wonder how people respond to tinder dates when they know right off the bat there is no chemistry. Do they get up and go? And what do they do when one person thinks one thing and the other thinks the total opposite. It all seemed so rude and awkward. I already have issues with people pleasing, and dealing with guilt about potentially hurting someone’s feelings to the point where I can’t be honest with people, so I’ll just end up wasting people’s time if I can’t be honest right off the bat, or speak up and say please don’t sex text me.  I know it was only one date, or meet up, or thing (I have no idea what you are supposed to call any of this but) if I am that ignorant to words like casual, and don’t have it in me to kindly reject a person, then I just have to delete the app.

Oh well, I tried.

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Are you my Tinderella?


Erica Loberg

Erica Loberg was born and raised in Los Angeles, CA. She attended Columbia University in New York and graduated with a BA in English. She is a published poet and author of Inside the Insane, Screaming at the Void, What Men Should Know About Women, What Women Should Know About Men, Diamonds From The Rough and Undressed.


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APA Reference
Loberg, E. (2016). Are you my Tinderella?. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 22, 2019, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/manic-depression/2016/08/08/are-you-my-tinderella/

 

Last updated: 9 Aug 2016
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