Ok. There are several levels, layers, and forms of denial. Mine was my face. I’ve had these red blotches in the middle of my forehead pretty much right on top of what is known as a third eye and have left them there. It’s not like I ignored them. I just got used to them. They became a part of my face and it wasn’t majority obvious so let them be. Then I got a call from my sister who had something removed from her hairline and started to think. Am I in denial about my face? Am I in denial about cancer and choosing to ignore what is sitting in the middle of my face?
So, I made an appointment with a dermatologist who froze my face. I had precancerous spots. I called him the Ice Man when he brought out the gun to freeze the spots. While it burned my skin, I told him I’ve dealt with a lot on a mental level so burning my flesh was a walk in the park. And I meant it. I thought about all the hard times, the mania, the depression, the lost the unknown the not found and thought I can handle a few unpleasant moments of skin icing. But when he was done I realized I was a walking example of living in denial about my face. And that denial is a mental denial that sat on my face asking for help, sat as a warning to something worse, and questioned why I waited so long to get it checked out. I had to hear from a sibling that cancer was going down on her face to get my own face looked at?
Yes. And that’s not the end of it. It’s only the beginning. When I shook the hand of my doctor, knowing that this was the beginning of spots to come, I said, this is the start of a terrible relationship.
But, I’ve learned that living in denial when spots are facing you literally in the middle of your face only makes me wonder. What else am I living in denial about?
Face in mirror image available from Shutterstock.