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6 Things Not To Do On A First Date

Landing first dates are hard, surviving them with some sanity can be worse.  First dates cause stress, and can be filled with anxiety, which can take some people over the edge, and act outside of their normal selves.

Here are some simple things to consider not doing on a first date:

1. Attire: Dress for success means not overdoing it.  Depending on where you are going, dress accordingly.  Don’t show up to a casual dinner in a prom dress.  Don’t show up for a hike in a fur coat. Don’t show up to the movies with a giant sun hat on. There’s no sun beaming down on you in a theater ok.  Dress for success means dressing like you would normally to have dinner, or go to a movie with a friend.

2. Perfume and Make-up: Do not paint your face like a clown.  Too much make up can be a turn off.  Even some guys use make-up if they have a zit, or blemish on their face. They may apply some power or cover up to hide it.  That’s okay, but understand that women know make-up, and will be able to tell if you smear some foundation on your face. Perfume is alluring and sexy, if it doesn’t smell like you showered in it.  Same things goes for cologne.  Your choice of cologne tells a woman a lot about you, so be cool and make it easy and breezy.

3. Me Me Me: No No. No. It’s not all about you so, don’t talk too much about yourself.  It’s okay to share things about your career, hobbies, upbringing etc, but be a good listener.  Listening goes a long way, and can appease any stress you may be experiencing.  And don’t be afraid of moments of silence.  The ability to be comfortable with not talking all the time shows you’re not insecure, you’re confident.

4. Phone: Do not leave your phone on the table.  If at all possible, try and keep it out of sight and out of mind.  If you are waiting for an important phone call, let the person know in advance and apologize with sincerity. Otherwise, do your best to ditch your phone.  You are there to be present, and you don’t want a phone impression to be your first impression.

5. Food: If you’re on a dinner date, order what you would usually order if you were out with an old friend, or eating by yourself. You are not there to pig out but, also not there to starve yourself.  Don’t order what you think makes you look good or healthy, you’re body will speak for itself. Once the food arrives, chill. Don’t let your nerves make you wolf down your plate.  Don’t talk with your mouth open. Don’t gulp your wine.  Take it easy and know there is a napkin there for a reason.  Having food on your face puts your date in an awkward situation, “Do I tell her there’s sauce on her chin, or pretend it’s not there and grossing me out?”  Your date will be caught staring at your mess which will make you wonder, “Do I have food on my face?” Remember, the napkin is your friend.

6. Sex: Do you shake hands, hug, kiss, make-out, or go all the way?  Figuring out how to handle the end of the date is probably the most stressful part of all.  However, whatever your decision is, it should be done based on how the date panned out. There are people that have sex on the first date, and end up getting married.  It’s okay to have sex on a first date if you’re feelin’ it.  There are plenty of stereotypes of women coming across as loose if they sleep with someone on a first date, men too.  The end of the night is your final impression so be calm, follow your instincts, take hints and signs from your date, and do your best to ascertain where the person stands, and how you feel, and go from there.

Bottom line: “Be Yourself.  It’s Who You Do Best.” 

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6 Things Not To Do On A First Date

Erica Loberg

Erica Loberg was born and raised in Los Angeles, CA. She attended Columbia University in New York and graduated with a BA in English. She is a published poet and author of Inside the Insane, Screaming at the Void, What Men Should Know About Women, What Women Should Know About Men, Diamonds From The Rough and Undressed.

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APA Reference
Loberg, E. (2013). 6 Things Not To Do On A First Date. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 23, 2019, from


Last updated: 14 Jun 2013
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