coinscrpdI know irritability has always characterized hypo mania.  And, even though I know it’s part of my disease, sometimes I put myself in unnecessary situations that only heighten and trigger my anger.

Here is a true example that has taught me how little things go a long way to help manage my disease.  

Most of us have loose change lying around.  They are like bobby pins, but bobby pins seem to disappear into thin air whereas loose change remains. I find loose change all over the place: my bookshelf, the kitchen table, on the floor, on my night stand.  Everywhere.  So, a few weeks ago I attempted to collect them in a plastic bag in my junk drawer so I could go to Coin Star and get some money.

The bag is big.  The bag is ready to go, and, for some reason I find myself collecting coin after coin and not get myself to the store to deposit the coins, and get my cash.

Is it laziness?  Habit?  What’s my problem?  Now it has gotten to the point where the coins haunt me.  Every time I drop a coin into the bag I get a wave of frustration because I have not made the trip to the store, and the bag is bulging.  I get irritated when I find loose change around my place and it only reminds me that I have to make the trip, yet, I continue to put it off.

I put myself in a situation to instigate my irritability, and foster it.  Knowing that irritability is intrinsic to my disorder, I still can’t seem to learn.  I have already collected the coins, so take them in, and get your cash.  Then see if it is worth the turmoil and anguish to start over again with a new bag.

Bottom line, when we find ourselves cultivating a behavior that we struggle with to begin with, make your life easy.  Lose the loose change.  You are in charge, and in control of your environment, and when you find yourself in situations that you can amend, do it.

Make your life easy on yourself. Lose the change.


Coins photo available from Shutterstock