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Satisfaction for now, Justice for Later

The following is part of a letter I sent to a friend of mine who I believe was convicted of a crime he did not commit. I hope you are inspired and provoked, maybe surprised. Forgive me if I sound a bit like the Apostle Paul.                                                                                                                                      

This is not our home, not jail, prison, or even the Appalachian Trail. We are not of this world. Is it any wonder that you find yourself persecuted, pressured, and tested? Is it any wonder that people don’t take the time to hear you, to truly listen to your plight? It is a wonder when they do—because they remember who they were made after and for. And because God does care. But darn it, he has a strange way of showing it. I have little time for pastors and theologians who try to explain the mind of God to me. I can’t explain my own mind!

I know that many of us suffer, some don’t even know it, a few suffer a lot, even fewer suffer way too much. That could be you. Can I say thank you? Not for suffering but for fighting. Sounds so strange to say but thank you for fighting, thank you for staying strong, even in your weakest moments. Thank you for taking a good hard look at this system, this world, and yourself. You have a story, a real life, a real hope. “What we see dimly now will someday be revealed.”

I’ve been thinking about the beatitudes lately, mostly for my condition. I used to think it was odd that those who are meek get the whole world but those who morn only get comfort. It seemed like they should have gotten more, after losing so much. But now I get it, man do I get it. It’s all I want. I just want comfort. Comfort that reaches deep inside myself to cradle my damaged heart. I want to be bathed in God’s love, I want the soothing of my son’s smile. I want to experience Aaron’s quietness when I’m loud, his laughter when I’m frustrated, and his chiding when I think way too much of myself. Damn it all, I want my son back. The only thing I want is comfort.

How is it that we are all born with this internal compass of justice? I want justice for you. At Aaron’s trial, I told them I can’t get justice, not real justice, but I did get satisfaction knowing that (in my case) the prosecutors listened to me and I got to tell my story. But I won’t get justice until I get my son back.

And you won’t get justice until you get your life back. Satisfaction not possible? It is if you remember, this is not our world, where sin and rust doth corrupt. Your real life, mine too, were not taken from us. Our real life lies in our real struggles against unseen principalities and the ruler of darkness. Our real life lies in the hope and promise of our Savior. If I sound like I’m preaching at you, I assure you I am preaching at me. If I sound like I’m yelling at you, I’m yelling at this world. We are not done, we have only begun.

Well now that I’ve either inspired you, angered you, or scared you (who is this crazy man writing?), let me tell you a bit of what’s been going on with me.

My book, When Sunday Smiled is being published! After almost three years of rejections, I have an agent and a publisher. It was another miracle. I was rejected by another agent and decided to give up. But I went to the movies that night and watched, “I Can Only Imagine.” It’s about the Christian song writer who was rejected by Christian agents until he went home, restored his relationship with his father, and wrote one of the most popular Christian songs of all time. You will have to watch the movie someday and you probably have heard the song.

I Can Only Imagine by MercyMe
I can only imagine what it will be like
When I walk by Your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see
When Your face is before me
I can only imagine
Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you Jesus?
Or in awe of You be still?
Will I stand in Your presence?
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing Hallelujah?
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine
I can only imagine when that day comes
And I find myself standing in the Son
I can only imagine when all I would do
Is forever, forever worship You
I can only imagine
Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you Jesus?
Or in awe of You be still?
Will I stand in Your presence?
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing Hallelujah?
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine
Yeah, I can only imagine
Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you Jesus?
Or in awe of You be still?
Will I stand in Your presence?
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing Hallelujah?
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine (can you imagine?)
I can only imagine
I can only imagine (can you imagine?)
I can only imagine (I can imagine)
I can only imagine.
I can only imagine                                                                                                          .

So, I went home that night and sent one more proposal to a publisher that I found on the website of the previous agent who rejected me. The next day she asked for my entire book, and the day after that we agreed to a contract! It is now with the senior editor and maybe it will be out by Christmas. Aaron would be so proud and maybe a little embarrassed because he did not want a lot of attention.


Andy is a Clinical Psychologist who lost his son in a tragic motorcycle accident and now authors articles on bereavement. The quiz is available! Go to http://andymdavidson.com/Home/Pgd to find out if you may have Prolonged Grief Disorder. Look forward to his upcoming posts, and books. Follow him at his website, AndyMDavidson.com and Facebook.com/ThroughLifeandLoss to find out more about prolonged grief.

Satisfaction for now, Justice for Later

Andy Davidson


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APA Reference
Davidson, A. (2018). Satisfaction for now, Justice for Later. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 23, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/life-loss/2018/07/satisfaction-for-now-justice-for-later/

 

Last updated: 20 Jul 2018
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 20 Jul 2018
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.