Be the Dad

Father’s Day is not unlike a lot of holidays. I wake up no different. Yea I’m a Dad, it’s who I am and what I do, but my little family gets to say “But you’re our Dad.” On my birthday I think no woop, I was born, a year latter and I didn’t die, but thanks for noticing. And my family gets to say, “Thanks for sticking around.” On Veteran’s Day I think, I served, I...


Living With Hope and Grief

After my son died, I simply did not know what to do, what to say, where to go, or how to do it. We often say, “It left me speechless, I just don’t know what to say,” yet we then go on and on describing the sensation. In this case, I truly did not have the words, I didn’t know what to do, I was absolutely lost. Gone was my voice, my inner voice, in a swirl of...


How a Moment In Time Can Add Up to Lifetime of Memories

I milled about, hoping to see someone I knew, hoping someone would know me.
“2015?” I asked.

“Yea, I’m Backdraft.”

“I’m Andy, uh Phantom,” I replied.


And I was back in the community that enveloped me four years ago as I walked from Georgia to Maine. We were at Trail Days in Damascus Va, the granddaddy of Appalachian Trail hikers. We stood awkwardly, made weak conversation then, “Hey I know you.”



Let Go? What it means–What It Doesn’t Mean

Letting go. Simple enough. Just let go. But not easy enough. Letting go means letting go of the control. It doesn’t mean letting go of the memory. Memories are distorted as the need for control increases. Because the need for control makes us see things through our self-meter. We see things the way we want to see them and not how they really are.

And control? What’s that all about? Hasn’t death shown us that control is...