Home » Blogs » Reaching Life Goals » 5 Ways You Project a Toxic Vibe That Keeps You Single

5 Ways You Project a Toxic Vibe That Keeps You Single

5 ways you project a toxic vibe that keeps you singleHave you decided to take a break from dating because you are tired of feeling rejected? Does it seem like none of the first dates you on turn into second dates? Have you arrived at the conclusion that trying to find that special someone is just too much trouble?

If so, you wouldn’t be alone. Lots of people become jaded on the whole dating experience, particularly when their efforts seem to yield few results.

But is it possible you are doing things that unintentionally send out a toxic vibe that’s keeping you single? If you think the answer is yes, wouldn’t you like to know what they are?

What follows are 5 ways you may be driving potential suitors away. The material is shared here is designed for women and men because toxicity is an equal opportunity destroyer.

Some of these may seem obvious while others will cause you to pause and reflect. Read them all in order to fully absorb their deeper meaning.

five tips for introverts

1. You reject people who you need to evolve

A karmic truth is that we meet people we need to evolve. Who and what you attract is a deep reflection of your own energy and love. But if you keep rejecting new opportunities from a place of fear, you quiet your needs of openness and growth and replace them with toxic, soul sucking energy.

Having fears about being rejected and subsequently hurt is understandable. However, don’t let these feelings hold you back from the journey you are meant to travel.


There is someone out there that is a match for you. With that shared, you will never meet this person if you keep isolating.

Embrace each dating opportunity as a chance to learn about yourself. This helps take the pressure off and paradoxically, makes you powerfully magnetic.

2. You discount your attractiveness

When you are out on a date and someone gives you a compliment, do you discount it? Do you brush it off because that positive remark makes you feel uncomfortable? If so, please stop – and here’s why.

The person who told you that you look stunning in that dress or great in those jeans did so because that is how they perceived you. When you reject praise, you send the toxic message that you are not worthy.


Learn to accept the compliment and embrace it. Tune out the negative voice that is telling you the compliment is “fake” or was given with ulterior motives. The truth is – you are a beautiful person. Practice the RAIN technique of mindfulness to help create positive change in this area.

3. You use alcohol as a crutch

Having a drink here and there as part of dating is a normal experience for many. For example, a glass of wine over dinner. Nothing wrong with that – right?

But if you regularly use alcohol to emotionally lubricate yourself to get through the date, you send the message that you need that substance in order to function. That may not be your truth but it can be a toxic vibe none the less.


Your true soul mate is going to connect with you for who you are. Clouding things up with alcohol prevents a person from linking to your inner core. Why not try dating with minimal alcohol use or better yet – no alcohol at all?

4. You focus too much on the past

Do you find yourself talking about things you haven’t done in life, including regrets and losses from the past? On the flipside, do you romanticize past loves from yesteryear that have now been placed on a pedestal?

While some of this is normal, too much of it can be a net negative.

People who find other people attractive want to live in the here and now. What’s more, their biggest hope is to meet someone new who is interested in creating a future. But if keep yourself a prisoner of the past, you block off any possibility of new love.


To the extent possible, embrace the here and now. Take mindful steps to focus your thoughts on the present – as in this very moment in time. Acknowledge the past is part of you but does not define you.

5. You keep playing the game of comparisons  

When you are out on a date, do you become discouraged because the individual sitting across from you holds a different life status? Does your self-esteem take a blow when you discover they make more money, have more friends or drive a certain car?

You may not know this but when you hold these thoughts, you are playing the game of comparisons. And guess what – your date can pick up on it and it’s not pretty.


Purge your mind of any preconceived notions when dating someone new. Allow yourself to experience them for who they are and not what they possess.

Your confidence about who you are and what you need in life is what will win them over. It’s also a key way to attract wealth into your own life.

5 Ways You Project a Toxic Vibe That Keeps You Single

John D. Moore, PhD

John D. Moore, PhD.Described as folksy and down to earth, Dr. John Moore infuses current events and pop culture into his posts as a way of communicating wider points on issues related to wellness and goal attainment. His work has been featured in nationally syndicated media, including Cosmo, Men's Fitness and CBS Market Watch. He is a consultant to a number of Fortune 500 companies and institutions of Higher Learning. Dr. Moore is author of Confusing Love with Obsessionand Editor in Chief at: Guy Counseling.

No comments yet... View Comments / Leave a Comment



APA Reference
Moore, J. (2016). 5 Ways You Project a Toxic Vibe That Keeps You Single. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 22, 2018, from


Last updated: 19 Jan 2016
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 19 Jan 2016
Published on All rights reserved.