If you are single, Valentine’s Day might be one of those “holidays” that you can do without. This point may be particularly true if you have recently excited a relationship, are unhappily attached or have been single for some time. To keep it real, February 14th can serve as a reminder of a void that exists in the area of romantic love.
If you are single, you have no doubt heard the advice from others on how to be good to yourself on Valentine’s Day – such as buying yourself a box of chocolates or engaging in massive acts of self-care.
While these approaches are fine and dandy, they can sometimes unintentionally transform into a pity party that reinforces a negative self-narrative. I can share with you as a therapist that this particular holiday stirs up a lot in many of my clients.
Perhaps it does for you?
What follows are 10 ideas to think about if you are single on Valentine’s Day that are designed to serve as a departure from the ho-hum norm. I’ve thrown in some nuggets of karmic advice just to round things out.
Are you ready? Let’s jump right in!
1. Make room for love
There is a universal truth that says we attract what we put out into the universe. This starts by cleansing yourself of negative energy and embracing who you are as a person … meaning all of you. Through this act of self-acceptance, you paradoxically make room for love in your life; which has the hidden benefit of adding to your attractiveness.
2. Volunteer your time on 14 February
You can channel the restorative and healing power of altruistic love by donating your time to a charity. Another option is to spend time with someone who could use the company, such as a person in an assisted living facility or shelter. You may need to tune into your empathic abilities to figure out what feels right.
3. Focus on the benefits of being single
Somewhere along the way, society got the message that all of us must be in a relationship in order to be happy. But is that really true? There are several very real benefits connected with being unattached when you think about it. Educate yourself on the 7 secrets of happy single people that you absolutely must know.
4. Detox from negative energy
Negative energy is something none of us want to deal with. A great way to celebrate Valentine’s Day is to consider spending part of your day cleansing your mind and spirit. Mindful meditation is an excellent option. This is particularly true if you struggle with issues like IBS.
5. Watch romance movies gone wrong
Not all love stories end happily ever after. If you want to poke a little fun at what many consider to be a “Hallmark” holiday, consider renting videos like My Bloody Valentine or any flick that brings a little humor to this relationship focused day. They say without laughter, there would be only tears. Why not giggle at Cupid’s expense?
6. Share love with your friends
There is a very good chance that your friends who are also single might be feeling a bit blue on February 14th. Why not hang out with them for a little while and let them know how much they mean to you? Love comes in many different forms – including companionate love.
7. Engage in creative play with a child
Are you a single mom or dad? Do you have a little brother or sister? Why not use part of this day to spend some loving time with them by engaging in creative play? It will mean so much to them than partaking in a video game. By stirring your little one’s imagination, you will create timeless memories and warm both of your hearts.
8. Focus on the good
There are likely lots of good things happening in your life that you don’t think about or maybe even discount. Why not take inventory and assess all that is going right? This is what highly successful people do on a regular basis.
9. Do something physical
Valentine’s Day for some single people can be a real downer. One way to push back against the sadness is to engage in something physical. You don’t have to hit the weights or do an hour of cardio to realize the benefits. Doing something small in fact can make a big difference!
10. Don’t buy into the myths
Valentine’s Day conjures up all sorts of mental imagery about love and relationships. Much of this is no doubt the direct result of the marketing efforts pushed out to the masses in attempt to sell everything from perfumes to chocolates. Just remember that the imagery doesn’t always match the reality for most folks. Now might be a good time to review common marriage/relationship myths.
If you are looking for more insight into love and relationships with a “single” twist, I would like to recommend, What To Do Until Love Finds You by Michelle McKinney Hammond.
Inside you will find lots of practical advice on matters of the heart – including how to let go of impossible expectations.
On a final note, please share your plans for Valentine’s Day if you are single! There is a high likelihood that others reading this post will benefit from your words.
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