2 thoughts on “Stop Focusing On Narcissist Types and Start Investigating These Toxic Red Flags

  • April 3, 2019 at 1:19 pm

    When I was in college, I was in a romantic relationship with a man who I later realized was a narcissist. Looking back, I can see where there were several red flags as mentioned in the article. On the other hand, I felt he loved me because he did something for me that my parents failed to do and that increased my independence from them. I did not start driving until I was 25 because my parents didn’t think I needed to. (I took driver’s ed in high school, but did not get the practice I needed to get my license and buy my own car.) When he realized that I didn’t know how to drive, he taught me how to so I was able to get my driver’s license. And he let me use his car until I could buy my own. Then he co-signed the car loan that helped me buy my own used car. (Credit laws back then (1970’s) made it difficult for a single working woman without any credit history to get a loan. The credit union where I worked required a co-signer or else they wouldn’t lend me the money to buy a used car. So at age 25, I got my driver’s license and bought my first car which he helped me pick out. I had more freedom than I ever had before. But the signs of narcissism were there and I always felt extremely anxious in the relationship. He turned out to be an alcoholic and we split up because of his addiction. I was never able to figure out why he had helped me drive and buy a car because if anything, I became more independent after the relationship. Loving a narcissist can be very confusing.

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  • April 3, 2019 at 3:30 pm

    A very to the point and accurate article on narcissism. Everything you’ve said fits right in with what I experienced when I was dating my to be husband whom, I wish I’d never met in the first place. Also, I wish to God that I’d trusted my instincts but, he very cleverly manipulated and lied to me whilst building a false picture of himself. I was much younger and naive then but after years of marriage, I know the script so well that he can’t get anything past me. Though I’m much wiser to his machinations, it has come at great expense to my sense of self, identity and independence. Metaphorically, he has crushed me. If I could turn back the hands of time, I would have ran as fast as I could in the other direction and never look back. Thank you for your post.

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