9 thoughts on “How the Narcissist Hurts You Using Cognitive Empathy

  • July 5, 2018 at 11:02 am

    I love the three definitions

    Reply
    • August 22, 2018 at 7:58 am

      Glad to know it, Tsipi! 🙂

      Reply
  • July 5, 2018 at 8:08 pm

    What do you do if this describes a coworker, especially one that acts different when a boss is around?

    Reply
    • August 22, 2018 at 7:58 am

      I found myself in that situation a few times before I started my own business. Each time it happened, I found other employment and left the toxic environment behind.

      Reply
  • July 6, 2018 at 3:07 pm

    I am glad that narcissists’ tactics are being revealed. It helps to understand more as I continue to put myself together. My ex-husband seemed to embody the idea of a “soul mate.” I was swept up in the love-bombing: dates that catered to my interests in an almost magical way and long conversations where he shared information about himself that was so in line with my values that I felt as though God had brought us together. Once I’d let my barriers down, he pumped me for additional information to secure me, and then later used that same information to punish me. I learned he’d gathered information from my friends, who took his interest in “getting to know me” as proof of his being enamored and thought it was sweet. I realize he was actually creating a profile to learn how to overcome my reticence and earn my trust. It’s almost analogous to being a hijacked computer that has it’s software corrupted by a virus that overwrites everything. I feel as though I can never truly relax and second-guess everyone’s motives. I prefer to be totally alone at times or isolate myself at home with my cats because I hurt so much.

    Reply
    • August 22, 2018 at 7:57 am

      Hi MsMc,

      Self-isolation is a common tendency for us after leaving an abusive relationship, but you definitely want to start getting out and engaging in healing activities…and at some point, interacting with other people. As long as you have your boundaries in place,you don’t have to worry about other peoples’ intentions. I wrote an article that might be of help (re: boundaries) The Two Things You Need in Order to Avoid EVER Attracting Another Narcissist

      Wishing you the best,

      Kim

      Reply
  • July 19, 2018 at 1:30 pm

    Hello my name is Mary and my Son got together with a narrsistic women they ended up having a kid together and Prior to that she was hitting on my Boyfriend. Then
    suddenly my Son is bring accused of hitting her, which he didn’t, she attacked him and he went to jail, had to do 52 weeks of anger management and has been falsley accused of Domestic Violence.
    While he was incarcerated she hooked up with some other guy and had his baby?
    My Son and I found out the guy was a registered Sex offender and she didn’t care, she continued the relationship and suddenly he was arrested for Domestic Violence and was returned back to a different state because he was on a diverted sentence and now is serving 20 yrs in prison.
    We believe the child is not his and she tried to cover it up by throwing him away, now she moved to Texas and took both kids with her and is collecting welfare in both States
    I know this woman beats my Grandson I have pictures to prove it.She also asked sombedy before she moved what do you do if you don’t like your kid very much?
    I fear for my Grandson’s life, I know this woman is pure Crazy, she knows she is Crazy, and someone needs to stop her !

    Reply
    • August 22, 2018 at 7:51 am

      Hi Mary,

      If you have pictures that can prove the abuse, it’s best to contact social services in the area where the children are currently located. You can also report welfare fraud to the social service offices where she is no longer living.

      Kim

      Reply
  • June 14, 2019 at 12:06 am

    How do you deal with a narcissits when you have two children together and the father is the narcissists, that blames you for everything and still trying to control you even though your divorced.

    Reply
 

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