Bipolar

Postcards From The Treadmill (and other musings from a fitness novice)

As I eluded to in my entry And Who Said Working Out Can't Be Fun?, the journey to embrace fitness, or something that vaguely resembles it anyway, began with a bit of a bumpy start. Well, I'm happy to report to you that I'm still at it and it has indeed gotten a bit easier.

Like we've all heard and/or experienced for ourselves before, once the momentum gets going, you do miss your...
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Bipolar

You Can Take a (Depressed) Girl Out of the Suburbs…

...but you can't take the suburbs out of the girl. Or can you?

In a million years I never thought I'd live in a city, much less like it.

Don't get me wrong, I've lived in some of the biggest around; Los Angeles, Houston, Orlando, Philly but I use the word "in" loosely because, at the end of the day,  I always drove minutes out Katy Freeway from downtown an hour out...
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Bipolar

Suddenly Sad

I want to inspire you. I want to be funny for you.

When I needed ideas, my editor said maybe I should just be real. That that's an important part for the reader to see. Seeing as she has so much experience and

I feel sad. For the past several days, I have had a little grey cloud on a string  attached to my belt loop.

It has been my experience that sadness...
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Bipolar

And Who Said Working Out Can’t Be Fun?

I live in a highrise building filled to the brim with 20-somethings.  Spilling over with women (girls) who stand before unforgiving mirrors, pinching an inch (or 1/10 of one) and proclaiming "Argghhh! I'm so fat"!

The sun is just rising. I stumble to my laundry basket and retrieve the attire.

I wiggle and push and smush myself into my grey spandex leggings, too small Under Armor sports bra, cute Nike tank (cute might...
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Bipolar

The Dad, Little Girl, Love & The Lion

I looked around and fiddled and fidgeted in the dark, as little children do after being put to bed, waiting for the sandman.

I peeped over the edge of the bed, looked down, and much to my horror, I saw the white frilly bed skirt on my white, canopy Waaaasss it was moving? What was making slowly,  into my 7 year old conscious, formed the following certainty:
THERE WAS A...
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Bipolar

Gremlins Be Gone!

C'mon Les, keep it together. Stay buttoned up. Don't come undone.

I am a person who seems to escalate to a place where when I do lose it, I LOSE it. My world is black and white at these times and little else. Except for the drama. I almost forgot about the drama.

I want to move back to Louisville.

I want to be with my brother in Texas.

I want to be the opposite of lonely every day,...
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Bipolar

The Other Side of Suicide – Part 2

Two days into my stay at the "hospital" (and I use that term loosely), I wanted to check myself out - which was my right. I was not being treated appropriately (or at all) and even in my deep depression, I knew this to be true.

The staff not only blocked my efforts, but I later found out that they were dishonest with me as well. It was...
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Bipolar

On The Other Side Of Suicide – Part 1

It was the 1980's, I was just 22, wrapped in a coat the boyfriend had given me. I was lying on the floor of my closet. I was cried out. I was solutioned out. I was shocked - stunned - and self-helped out. I still could not keep food down nor could I get warm. I could never get warm.

Lying there was the closest to any kind of comfort I could find.

For months,...
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Bipolar

No Mother? No Problem

We all landed where we did. We may have been drop-kicked or gently placed, but we're where we are supposed to be.

With all due respect and gratitude to my therapist and all the other magic makers world-wide, quite simply, I am often at the mercy of my blindness; my ability to overlook the completely obvious. I don't need anyone to help me figure it out, I just need a smack upside the head.

Today is Mother's...
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Bipolar

Under The Knife

I shall age gracefully because for now at least, I'm forced to.
It's a very good thing that I don't have unlimited financial resources because if I did, with my if-one-is-good,-two-is-better mentality, I'd surely give Joan Rivers and Kenny Rodgers a run for their money (I'm sorry Kenny. I loved "Islands In A ").
I'm going to be 48 in less than a month. Forty Eight? Forty...
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