C’mon Les, keep it together. Stay buttoned up. Don’t come undone.

I am a person who seems to escalate to a place where when I do lose it, I LOSE it. My world is black and white at these times and little else. Except for the drama. I almost forgot about the drama.

I want to move back to Louisville.

I want to be with my brother in Texas.

I want to be the opposite of lonely every day, down in Orlando with my nieces and sister.

I want to become a published author. I want to write a book.

I want to go back to college and study English and the ocean.

I want to change careers – completely.

I want to have my own talk show – sit next to Kelly or Ellen.

I want to jump from my bed each morning not being able to wait to see what the day holds for me!!

I want to not be scared of  love and love so deeply that even I am surprised.

I want to adopt my child here in Boston and then grow my family with hubby and step kids and maybe 1 or 2 more adoptions. I want a big, blended family.

I want my family to be all together – within 6 hours from each other.

I want my Dad to walk me down and give me away.

I want my family to feel the same and help me make it work.

I want to help people.

I want my talents to be recognized so that I can go on to be a comedienne, a life coach, a physical therapist, a specialist in equine therapy, own a funky antique/junk/garden shop.

You get the idea for I suspect you have a box tucked away that holds all of your wants and passions.

This is where the “what-ifs” enter the picture.

Then the last 3 buttons fly off my shirt as I can stay “buttoned up” even for 1 more minute.

Every rapid fire idea and deep passion listed above has 1 or 2 or 31 “What-Ifs” clinging to them.

What if I’m not a good mom? …if I don’t really know how to grow lettuce for my garden shop…..what if my car breaks down and won’t go the six hours to Grandma’s house in the woods? What if I snap some poor guy’s wrist in my Physical Therapy center?…what if I make a mistake?…I don’t even know where to begin to write a book!……And on, and on, and on, and on, and ON.

I’m a stacker until what you just experienced happens and God help anyone in my path. I try hard to break things down onto neat little note pads but stuffing is oh such a better tactic don’t you think? (see me wink  here).

What do you do when you are overwhelmed? I shut down and freeze up – my head spinning with “it’ll never work anyways and the What-ifs and the you’re not good enough to do this or that.

Yooo Hoooo… Gremlins? SHUT UP.

How do you quiet your gremlins?

PHOTO CREDIT: Creative Commons License photo credit: chiselwright