No Wake

This morning, at 2:03 AM, I received a text from a friend that simply said, “Help Me.”

My girlfriend’s husband had made the decision to take his own life, for all practical purposes, in front of her, earlier in the evening.

For those followers who have read my earlier writing, you know my family has it’s own suicide story and those posts contain my feeble attempts at drawing a picture of what suicide does to those left behind in the wake.

My disclaimer here, as was before, is that I don’t claim to understand everyone’s situation, pain, etc. nor do I claim to be a mental health professional. OK? Ok.

So here I go.

Really? Really? I get the pain part. I get the distorted thinking part. I get so much.

But the angry part of me? The part of me that sobbed on the phone with my precious friend this morning – that woke too many times through the night and since then, the part who has been feeling my heart break for my precious friend has this to say:

And I say it with no hidden sarcasm and obvious anger is…

If you insist on choosing a permanent solution to what could be a temporary problem, get a GD hotel room – or better yet, a place away from your home and family – a place  – where you can be discovered by professionals who are at least a little prepared to deal with such things.

I contemplated not writing about this for L, L & L, as clearly, I feel helpless and livid and the last thing I feel like doing is thinking about all of this out loud in front of hundreds of people, but like the couple in New England who left a note for their two very small children before they had the opportunity to find them dead, I am furious about this.

My heart breaks for him – that he felt this was his only way – but furious at him for his breathtaking (and not in a good way) last words to my friend and thoroughly broken hearted for my girlfriend who, in her extreme shock and grief, feels responsible.

I close in true Leslie fashion….

I say to anyone that will listen, G E T  H E L P. It IS out there. And if you don’t believe your friends and family when they tell you this, humor them. All you have to do is dial a number – take a bus or cab – and show up. The help is there, waiting for you.

Creative Commons License photo credit: Curtis Gregory Perry