2 thoughts on “Why Recognizing The Mother Wound Is So Hard

  • January 20, 2016 at 6:25 pm

    This is all so true. I love my Mom very much but I had to learn to see her as a human who wasn’t perfect and just love her as a fellow adult. She has no idea that she emotionally abused me as a child. It was always about what I wasn’t or what she did or did not want me to do or be a part of. If she thought playing the piano would be cool, I was kind of cajoled into thinking there was something wrong with me if I didn’t want to take lessons. She idolized other kids that did the things she wanted or admired. I was never good enough. I was also very pale while she was olive complected and I was told often that I looked like I was dead and forced to wear makeup starting at age 11 to school. I frequently got yelled at by my father in front of the carpool if I didn’t put it on and I really thought he believed me to be ugly. By the time I entered high school, I didn’t have any self esteem and I always tried to do what she or both of them wanted until it came to an ugly head and I learned to take my self back and try to be who I wanted but it took me years to do it. Now I struggle with multiple illnesses and brain damage and they don’t even care to see it or recognize it. Just think I’m lazy. They have no idea about psychology or understand what they created in me (or didn’t allow to be created.) They don’t even know or recognize how intelligent I am. It is very difficult because I had to finally admit to myself that it is never going to happen – that she will never see me.

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  • January 31, 2016 at 8:01 am

    My mom passed on a year ago. During her funeral, I found out the kind of relationship she had with her siblings. They didn’t love and they were afraid of her anger. But she was always trying to help them. We fought over my weight for years. She sacrificed a lot to take care of my siblings. She was wounded too. I wish I saw her as a human being with flaws instead of yearning for her to trust me. It was hard I knew something was wrong with our relationship but I didn’t how to make it work.

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