5 thoughts on “5 Steps to Shutting Down Your Mother’s Critical Voice Playing in Your Head

  • May 8, 2019 at 9:47 am

    Thanks for the 5 steps to unlearn the mothers voice. That will become a rescue first aid kit for overwhelming situations.
    As I experience it at the moment, the bigger the stress, the more clearly the “voices” are recognizable. As long as the daily routines are keeping me in line, it is OK.
    Sincerely from Germany,
    Guy

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  • May 8, 2019 at 10:49 am

    What about male children who have very conditional love from their mothers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • May 28, 2019 at 9:29 am

    This article was very helpful! I often “hear” my Mother’s critical voice in my mind and also fi nd that sometimes when I a m looking in my mirror, I feel like I’m seeing myself the way she does, very critically.

    One thing I figured out for myself, that helps me a lot to remember, is that my Mother hates herself! Because I’m a female and do look a lot like her, I believe she is mostly really criticizing herself when she says things to me. Of course, it still hurts and is not ok, but does help me to remember that.
    My stepmom acted similarly. She had 4 kids. 2 of them looked like her and she treated them much worse.
    These are not excuses, but a potential reason to help in understanding cruel behavior, especially when one or more siblings are receiving less or no abuse.
    I am starting the process of making my own “tapes” in my head!😃

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    • June 2, 2019 at 8:21 am

      Hi Nichole, As I explain in my book DAUGHTER DETOX, I believe that in order to heal, you have to stop looking for reasons why your mother acts as she does; that keeps the focus on her. In truth, you must look away from her and realize that it was never about you in any real sense. Your job is to deal with the effects she had on you and your behaviors; that’s the way out. Best, Peg

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    • June 5, 2019 at 1:15 pm

      This kind of mother has to have a receptacle to dump her disowned weaknesses upon. I didn’t look like her but as I am a milder sensitive kind of personality, then I was the automatic target. I find it helpful to remember that they are black and white thinkers and view people as weak or strong. Good qualities like empathy and kindness on some level are just a weakness to these people. They are not like you or me. They are predators and they view you as prey. They are crazy. So in light of that, why listen to a word they ever said about you. Easier said than done as they were experts at getting under your skin, but thinking of it this way can give you more ammunition to be on your own side.

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