One thought on “5 Reasons Unloved Daughters Feel Manipulated in Relationships

  • September 25, 2018 at 6:59 pm

    My God! I’m both anxious preoccupied AND fearful avoidant! I’m 57. Mother is 93 living in assisted living. I’ve not spoken to her in over 6 years, the reason being that I was separating:divorcing my covert narcissist husband of 18 years. I carry lots of baggage from both of these relationships it’s clear and I know it. My mothers reaction to me telling her my marriage had fallen apart, and was losing my home to foreclosure, (telling her all this on the speaker phone from my then Counselors office), because I was afraid of her reaction, with all due reason. I’m the disappointment, the one who’s shamed and embarrassed her; what would she tell her friends? How could I do this to HER? Omg It was that day I decided I had to cut her out of my life. She not once asked me how I was, or felt. Nothing!
    Except why wasn’t my home paid off years and years ago? She hated my now ex, but had no problem telling me I couldn’t keep a man! Yes! Second divorce. I feel so guilty that my older brother is stuck caring for her and her ridiculous requests and constantly asking him why I don’t see her. She always tells him she’s never mistreated me, and accuses me of elder abuse for not speaking to or seeing her.
    No, I wasn’t beaten or physically abused but was neglected from any real show of love, attention, or praise. I never felt at home in the house growing up. It’s as if they gave me to the wrong people when it was time to take me home from the hospital! My dad is long gone now, 22 years, but my mother is still going strong. My dad was very quiet. Never said much but I feared him because my mother instilled that fear in me.
    I have no relationships. No real friends. No family. My ex poisoned my daughter against me (from my first marriage). She and I have not spoken over the lies he told about me.
    I don’t see a way I’m ever going to recover from all of this. I isolate myself now and feel that I have absolutely no quality of life whatsoever. I don’t get through a day or night without crying over ALL of this. I have so much love in my heart, to give, but am scared to death of making another bad decision. So I’m alone as alone can be. Every holiday. Every birthday. Everything. There is nothing to look forward to. I’ve seen Counselors. I’m on medication for depression but there is no pill for heartache and the devastation I’ve been through. I know this. I’m so tired of suffering.
    Thank you for understanding and writing these that hold so true for so many of us.

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