4 thoughts on “What is Emotional Abuse Exactly? Taking a Hard Look at a Buzzword

  • September 18, 2018 at 7:39 pm

    It is my opinion (as moderator of an abused survivors’ group) and 20 years of research regarding verbal abuse (and surviving a physical and verbally abusive marriage..for 31 years….that all abuse is emotionally abusive….there is physical abuse (which most understand), and verbal abuse…..which in a “nutshell” are words which are disempowering, which make one feel less. I wish the media would stop calling it “bullying”—it is verbal abuse.

    Patricia Evans’ book: The Verbally Abusive Relationship saved my life, and I believe should be required reading.

    I presented my paper, Society’s Hidden Pandemic, Verbal Abuse: Precursor to Physical Violence and a Form of BIochemical Assault….at my State’s Counseling Association; it is my passion to speak on National Television; 1 in 3 women will be physically assaulted and it begins with verbal abuse.

    P.S. I wrote about my life of overcoming (and thriving) and won a scholarship at age 60; I am a Sophomore at 71!

    • September 22, 2018 at 7:16 am

      Wow! Congratulations! And thank you for the book reference too…best wishes!

  • September 27, 2018 at 11:10 pm

    I am 71 and recently left a 51 year marriage. We have not divorced, and remain a limited relationship doing things we always enjoyed together. Walks in the park. Going to a musical or concert. But from the beginning of our relationship he quickly showed that he would withdraw affection and either freeze me out with stony silence, or speak to me in a voice laden with contempt, telling me how I “always” do this or that….. He accused me many times of being jealous that our three grown daughters support him and take his side, as he does not show that voice of contempt in their presence. I made a lot of mistakes, too. But am working on myself, and trying to build a friendship with him even if we do not reunite.

  • April 8, 2019 at 7:40 am

    This is truly the issue… from a woman’s perspective. Whenever a violation becomes a ‘buzz’ feed, it loses it’s power, because every violator regroups as a new voice and adopts then waters down the truth of the reality of abuse.. e.g.. abusive relationship, emotional abuse, rape, verbally abusive… they all become the same language of the abuser and the abused.. and ultimately serve the abuser and our powerless courts to actually serve the victim, and once again rearrange victim blame… makes me furious… and sick to my stomach… Abuse is a cycle, it is relentless, it has no end and it has no explanation.. it will never have a resolution and it will never let go of a grudge. It is a permanent situation.. because the abuser has a permanent mindset. It’s not just a bad hair day… and one day I hope the media and courts will actually get this. I sat in court listening to the judge ask my lawyer “Why isn’t she working” after I left my violent and abusive ex and our joint million dollar plus business and assets.. well sweety.. because it is unviable… someone didn’t have a clue, and someone was a casualty of buzz words that negate reality…


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