5 thoughts on “6 Things the Unloved Child Longs For

  • September 23, 2017 at 1:21 pm

    I am sure that each of my daughters would agree with all of the descriptions you have written. However, I was there for each of them, but, I was also an Unloved daughter too. So maybe, there was some sort of missing mentoring from my parenting skills that I was not aware of. When they became old enough to understand my history, and after my parents passed away, I explained my painful history so they would understand me a little more. The #6 child of 9 children, and, a VERY overwhelmed mother and toxic (to me) father. So, I avoided the home space as much as possible. I read my books in the car because our home was so small we had no private or quiet spaces to go, my daughter,23, lived on Harry Potter, still does when she is anxious. My other daughter lived on teen novels and music, the music stayed..I love it when I hear her singing in her room.

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  • September 25, 2017 at 9:20 pm

    For my whole adult life I’ve believed that these were simply just human longings that we all strove for. Reading this list was like reading a page from my journal, and it’s been a recurring theme in my life that I question how and if I will ever be able to access these feelings. Have I been wrong all this time? Is it not a “human thing” but something that some of us struggle with especially?

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  • September 26, 2017 at 12:54 am

    Peg, your book Mean mothers and your blog posts have awakened me from a lifetime of pain. Thank you for your consistent posts – I look forward to each and every installement. For me, reading was not something encouraged or done in my house. I never visited a library other than at school. For me, the television began as a babysitter and became a huge part of my free time as an adult. When you describe ‘ play acting’ through life .. I nearly stopped breathing. I feel as though my whole life has been created over and over again to agree with whomever is near me at the moment. I am a chameleon. I believe now it is because I have no ability to have my own opinion or strength as an individual. I have no idea who I really am because my
    Mother was such a strong personality and she was so unpredictable. I was always terrified to disagree with her.

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    • September 26, 2017 at 7:43 am

      Beth, Of course, you have opinions and strengths; they’re just covered by a lot of debris. I’m glad to have helped but the best route out,in my personal opinion, is therapy with someone good. You don’t have to live in pain; you don’t have to feel lost or be “orchestrated” by others. I’m neither a therapist nor a psychologist but I know for sure that there is light and air beyond where you find yourself now. All the best, Peg

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  • October 12, 2017 at 10:38 am

    Even after 25 years of therapy, I can still relate with all of these. I am a true believer of it needing to be the right kind of therapy – specific to our needs. I’m certainly living proof that generic won’t help. It hasn’t been until I received specific help for my character traits and (what I’ll call) missing pieces that I began to get any real help. I walked around empty for many years – feeling void and person-less as a result. I am still not certain “who” I am — I have attributes now though. This is a start. I am, however, still not fully living and have not achieved a long-term relationship. I had the worst of possible mothers, and am an anxious-avoidant type, I also have PTSD. I’ve had my work cut out for me — but there is hope. It takes a lot of work, hard work, but it can be done. I am finally feeling free from under all that weight to live.

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