The question always comes down to a variation on this one: “Now what? Now that I’ve recognized that my childhood experiences are affecting me, what do I now?”
We all know that narcissists need an audience but why they do depends on the type of narcissist you’re dealing with. Is the narcissist you know grandiose or vulnerable? New research suggests that they hone the art of self-presentation in different ways and for different reasons.
No, winning the lottery isn’t on the list because, guess what? Most of the people who win the lottery end up losing all the money they won and generally end up being much more unhappy than they ever were before. That’s true. So how to join that group of people who are clapping their hands because they’re happy and they know it?
When a child’s emotional needs aren’t met in childhood, her development and personality are shaped in specific ways.
One of the lasting legacies bequeathed many unloved daughters is the carry-over from that early and devastating blow: Being rejected by the very person, your mother, who’s supposed to love and support you.
It’s a sad truth reflected by the title of Dorothy Nolte’s popular inspirational poem that “Children Learn What They Live.” Daughters (and sons, for that matter) who grow up in households in which harsh criticism is meted out on the daily, ridicule and shaming are part of the routine, or belittling and blame-shifting are constants in the family dynamic adapt as they need to in order to get along and survive.
I kept thinking if I just gave him more time, he’d learn to control his temper. I made excuses for his outbursts and I always made a point to emphasize his good qualities when I was hurt and upset. It took me six long...
Horror stories abound, cautionary tales which everyone should be aware of, about the Vindictive Narcissist.