Surviving Infidelity
with Abe Kass, M.A. R.S.W., R.M.F.T.


Infidelity Clinic: Abe Kass Answers Your Questions About Infidelity

Infidelity often occurs as an acute emotional injury that arises suddenly and unexpectedly. Other times the betrayal is chronic in its nature, causing more and more pain and damage with the passage of time.

In either case, it is advisable not to let the wound go untreated, especially if your goal is to heal and preserve your relationship.

As I remind readers often here on Psych Central, infidelity need not be a relationship killer nor create...


An Open Invitation to Debate Noel Biderman (of Ashley Madison) On the Evils of Infidelity

I am a big advocate of positive marriage. In addition to writing for Psych Central, I have created an extensive collection of articles and tools to strengthen relationships at

Earlier this year I wrote a blog post on the website blasting Ashley Madison and its former CEO, Noel Biderman, for falsely promoting infidelity as a tool to improve relationships. What total hogwash.


Surviving Infidelity on Mother’s Day

Whether it’s Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, your birthday, or another special occasion, when you’re still reeling from the pain of infidelity it’s understandable if you don’t feel much like celebrating.

But think twice.

Infidelity, as painful as the betrayal is, need not contaminate your entire being. Life doesn’t stop, nor should it, even when your committed partner has violated your trust and left you emotionally wounded.


Where Do You Draw the Line on Infidelity? Take Our Quick ‘Surviving Infidelity’ Survey

Taking This Short Survey Could
Prevent Your Partner from Cheating on You
Can taking an online survey help you and your partner avoid the crushing pain of infidelity? This one might.

I not only want you to share your anonymous responses to these 12 quick questions with me and other Psych Central readers, importantly, I also want you to share them with your spouse or significant other. And I want your spouse to answer the same 12 questions and share his or her answers with you.


Does a One-Night Stand Count as Cheating?

John is a sales executive who travels frequently on business. On one recent trip, he met an attractive woman in the hotel bar where he was staying. One thing led to another, and the two wound up having a one-night stand. When John returned home and spoke about the incident with his therapist, John denied that the fling amounted to infidelity. “One night stands don’t count,” John maintained. And he genuinely believed it.


Surviving “All-in-the-Family” Infidelity

Those who are fans of the popular 1970s sitcom All in the Family and its various spinoffs know that Archie and Edith Bunker’s daughter, Gloria, was married to Michael “Meathead” Stivic, who was constantly at odds with his blue-collar, bigoted father-in-law.

In later seasons, Gloria and Michael have serious relationship issues. Gloria has an affair with a fellow faculty member of Michael, who was teaching at the University of California, Santa Barbara. Subsequently, Michael abandons Gloria and their son Joey, for one of his young UCSB students.

Bad, bad, enough.

Imagine, however, if the scriptwriters had chosen, instead, to have Michael engage in an extra-marital affair with Archie’s 18-year-old niece, “Billie” – the daughter of Archie’s brother Fred.


In the Aftermath of Infidelity, It’s Wise to Seek Counseling

When infidelity crashes your marriage or committed relationship, and you want professional counseling to help you and your partner rebound from the betrayal, who should you see and what should you expect from a therapist?

Far too many people never seek professional counseling in the aftermath of infidelity. Often, one or both partners feel too ashamed to discuss their circumstances with a total stranger. Other times, it doesn’t even occur to couples that a third-party expert might be able to help them navigate past their relationship shoals.


Can Cheating On Your Spouse Stave Off Divorce?

Are there any circumstances, ever, when being unfaithful to your spouse or committed partner can ‘save’ your relationship? The answer is emphatically, “No.”

If your partner has let himself or herself go and is no longer attractive to you, does that justify infidelity? No.

If your partner no longer sleeps in the same bed with you and pushes off all efforts at intimacy, does that justify infidelity? No.

If you are thinking about a divorce – because you’re unhappy in your marriage or relationship – but want to stay together “for the kids,” does that justify infidelity? No.

If a prominent web service, with more than 50 million global members, promises complete discretion and encourages you to “find your moment” outside of your committed relationship, does that justify infidelity? No.

By now, you likely understand that I know of no justification whatsoever for cheating on your spouse or significant other. None.