It’s easy to become overwhelmed by our issues. I’m not here to suggest that anyone can tackle complex emotional issues with the simple idea I’m about to express, yet some find it very helpful. I hope you do, too.
Some issues are so pervasive that it’s hard to separate ourselves from them. Feeling depressed is the same as being a depressed person. Feeling fear is experienced as being a coward in life. Feeling like you’re faking it is no different than being an imposter. It’s easy to confuse part of our experience with who we are. You tend to get caught up in why you’re this way or that but don’t necessarily have a way to break it down into a manageable self-improvement project.
Break Yourself Down into Parts
What if every issue you had were due to part of you needing to act out? Resolving the issue would become a matter of satisfying or healing that part of you. Though it might take years to resolve larger issues, invoking the parts model puts things in a workable context.
To do so would involve rewording some of your thoughts and ways of expressing your feelings. You can test out new wording by reading the following sentence pairs and noticing any subtle difference in the way you experience them. In the following examples, the second sentence rephrases the first using parts-oriented language.
- I am an imposter – a fake.
- Part of me feels like an imposter – a fake.
What does the imposter part of you need in order to feel legitimate?
- I am afraid.
- Part of me is afraid.
What kind of reassurance does the fearful part of you need?
- I am so stubborn.
- I have a part of me that is so stubborn.
What is your stubborn part afraid will happen if it acquiesces?
- I am confused
- Part of me is confused.
What would clear things up for this confused part of you?
The Simple Takeaway
Parts psychology suggests that every thought, feeling and psychological event represents a part of you (not in a clinical sense). Disturbing thoughts and feelings come from parts. Part of you feels disturbed! But not all of you. Can you sit with part of yourself and give it what it needs?