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When it Seems Like Something is Missing in your Life

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That’s a cool quote by Robert Holden about what’s missing in life. But for those of us who have felt this way, how helpful is it? To know that what’s missing is “me” doesn’t do much for me on a practical level.

So many of us feel like something’s missing. When I’ve dug a little deeper, it has become more obvious that it is indeed feelings that are missing. So when you say, I feel like something’s missing you might as well be saying, my feelings are missing.

Authors Arielle Schwartz and Jim Knipe make this point more clearly:

If you are intolerant of emotions, you will likely feel cut off, like something is missing, or as if you are just going through the motions. Emotions help give us purpose, meaning, and the experience of being alive. ~ The Complex PTSD Workbook

If something seems off in your life, as it has in mine, what are we to do?

Begin with feelings.

In my case, I began with the very feeling that’s something was missing. It showed up as a hollow feeling in my chest. I also noticed a queasiness around the solar plexus. For years I went through my days hollow-chested and queasy. Such subtle, profound feelings that didn’t disrupt my day but nevertheless made happiness and joy impossible to experience. The hollowness wouldn’t be filled.


For a long time, I didn’t know where to look. My feelings were a problem but I didn’t know how to move them, to get them flowing. Moreover, the idea of flowing feelings must have been unsettling. Who knows what’s lurking beneath the surface? At length, it was somatic therapy that helped.

The point of this post is one simple idea: When it seems like something is missing in life, a full experience of your own feelings may be it.

When it Seems Like Something is Missing in your Life

Mike Bundrant

Mike Bundrant is the author of Your Achilles Eel: Discover and Overcome the Hidden Cause of Negative Emotions, Bad Decisions and Self-Sabotage and co-founder at The iNLP Center which offers online certification in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and life coaching.

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APA Reference
Bundrant, M. (2020). When it Seems Like Something is Missing in your Life. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 3, 2020, from


Last updated: 20 Feb 2020
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