Why It’s So Important to Validate Yourself and How to Start

It feels good to be praised, to have your feelings affirmed, to be told you did a good job, and to be appreciated.

It’s normal to want validation from others – your parents, spouse, boss, friends -- but some of us seek external validation to an unhealthy level. We rely on others to make us feel good. We doubt our abilities if we’re not explicitly told we’re doing well. We obsessively check our...


12 Important Reminders for People Who Struggle with Codependency

Codependent thoughts and behaviors can sabotage our health, happiness, and relationships.
We neglect ourselves in order to take care of others.
We lose our individuality trying to please others.
We don’t ask for what we need – and often don’t know what we want or need.
We get obsessed with other people and their problems.
We worry excessively.
We’re afraid to say no or set boundaries, so...


7 Tips to Reduce Fear of Failure

What is fear of failure?
It’s normal to feel a twinge of anxiety or have some butterflies in your stomach when you try something new. But for some people, fear of failure prevents them from taking chances, trying new things, and accomplishing their goals.

When we experience failure as painful and permanent, we’ll do anything to avoid it. We procrastinate and play it safe -- avoiding anything that we might not...


How to Figure Out What Boundaries You Need

Boundaries are essential in all of our relationships. But, as we all know, they can be tough to set for a number of reasons. Often, we don’t know what kind of boundaries we need. This is especially true if you grew up in a family that lacked boundaries. In which case, you may not think it’s okay to have...


It’s Okay to Cut Ties with Toxic Family Members

Would your life be happier, healthier, and more peaceful without certain people in it?


It’s never easy to cut someone out of your life. And when it comes to family, it’s especially hard to accept that a family member is creating so much stress, anxiety, and pain that you can’t continue to have a relationship with them.

This post is for all of you who are struggling to...


6 Reasons You Need to Get Better at Saying No

Would your life be better if you could say no more often?


Annie constantly feels overwhelmed by all she has to do. There are so many competing demands on her time – family obligations, social invitations, work deadlines, household chores, community events she’d like to attend, and the ever-elusive self-care. She hates to disappoint people, so even though she’s stretched too thin already, she finds...


Why You Should Strive for Excellence, Not Perfection

The difference between excellence and perfection
People often confuse perfectionism with excellence.

When we strive for excellence, we have high standards. And in general, there’s nothing wrong with having high standards. In fact, it can be a good thing. High standards can encourage us to make improvements, solve problems and do quality work.

Perfectionism, however, is an impossibly high standard -- with no room for imperfections and no compassion for...


6 Defining Features of Codependency


We use the term codependency rather loosely these days. It’s great that more people are familiar with codependency, but if it’s going to help us understand ourselves in a meaningful way, we need to be clear about what codependency is – and what it isn’t.

In a nutshell, people who identify as codependent usually play the role of “rescuer” in a relationship with someone who is impaired or ill in some way....


10 Ways Perfectionists Self-Sabotage

Trying to do things perfectly often seems like a good idea, perhaps even essential to your success, but expecting perfection isn’t realistic. So, when you hold yourself to this impossibly high standard, you’re probably creating more problems than you’re solving.

What is perfectionism?
Perfectionism isn’t the same as excellence. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to do high-quality work and wanting to improve. But perfectionists don’t just want to excel, they can’t tolerate mistakes or imperfections....