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Perfectionism

The 5 Real Reasons You Procrastinate


It seems most Americans struggle with procrastination at least occasionally. A simple google search will yield many promising solutions, and yet we still seem to be wasting time and regretting it.
Why do we procrastinate?

You don’t like the activity or task. If you perceive something as unpleasant, boring, time consuming or difficult, it makes sense that you...


Assertiveness

6 Big Problems with People-Pleasing and How to Fix Them


Kyle is a classic people-pleaser. He's been dating Lucy for four years and hopes to marry her. From the beginning, Lucy has been clear that she wants Kyle to attend church with her and finish college.  Kyle isn't particularly interested in church and isn't sure he even believes in God, but be attends every week. He flunked out of college in his freshman year and knows he doesn't want to go back. Instead of telling Lucy,...


happiness

Your Dog Isn’t The Only One Who Needs Treats


 
Treats vs. Rewards
Last week I was listening to an episode of Gretchen Rubin's podcast Happier (which I highly recommend) about giving yourself treats. Rubin explains that a treat is a pleasure you give yourself "just because" and a reward is something you earn. I had honestly never made this distinction before. And as I've thought about this for the past week, I realized it's hard for me to...


Adult Children of Alcoholics

What Every Adult Child of an Alcoholic Needs to Know about Perfectionism


Addicted, dysfunctional and chaotic families are a breeding ground for perfectionism.

Therapists and addiction counselors often talk about alcoholism (or any addiction) as a family disease because it affects everyone in the family. As I'm sure you're aware, an addict's behavior has far-reaching consequences for his/her family, especially the children.
We cope by becoming people-pleasers
Alcoholic homes are unpredictable and harsh. Some children learn that the best way...


Perfectionism

10 Proven Tips for Overcoming Perfectionism

If you read my previous post and concluded that you're a perfectionist, it's time I shared a few tips on overcoming perfectionist traits.

I won't lie to you. Undoing perfectionist tendencies is quite an undertaking. You're not going to do it by following these tips for a week or two. You will, however, make good progress if you practice them consistently for several months. Sometimes the guidance of a therapist can really speed...


Perfectionism

How Losing Weight Made Me Feel Fatter

Have you ever stepped on the scale, looked down in disgust and decided it was going to be a bad day? I have definitely fallen prey to not feeling thin enough, pretty enough, cute enough, tall enough, sexy enough. If you can you relate, this article is for you. Please keep reading.

It's hard not to make our jean size represent our self-worth. Our weight really shouldn't dictate our happiness level. And yet,...


Perfectionism

No More Excuses: Self-Care Matters


 

I'm really tired of friends and clients who won't make time for themselves. You are important! And if you aren't making time for yourself you are either stressed out or on your way there.

Self-care, as therapists like to call it, is something you do just for you. It's reading a great novel, scrapbooking, buying yourself flowers, a walk with a friend. It's really whatever refreshes and energizes you.

What excuses are...


Anxiety

Signs You Are an Overthinker


Overthinking is common among anxious, perfectionists. It is obsessive thinking or ruminating. I recently wrote an article about dealing with my own overthinking tendencies while remodeling my kitchen.

People who overthink feel like they can't turn off their brains. They are constantly questioning, second guessing, evaluating. So much so that they create "analysis paralysis", or the inability to make decisions.