4 thoughts on “How to Figure Out What Boundaries You Need

  • October 25, 2019 at 10:58 am

    I love this post. I downloaded the PDF to my computer for my journal, like I usually do when these posts resonate with me. I also downloaded the feeling wheel, which is simple yet brilliant. I often “stuff” my feelings and then wonder why I’m feeling a certain way, so I think this will be a handy tool. Also downloaded the Personal Bill of Rights (https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-panic/2010/06/personal-bill-of-rights), which I plan to print out and look at every day. Thanks for another wonderful post.

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  • October 26, 2019 at 12:21 pm

    Boundaries were not always easy for me. Growing up, they didn’t exist from the bigger boundaries to the most intimate ones. I remember Mike Lew doing an exercise on boundaries in a workshop many years ago and it was eye-opening. At the time, I didn’t realize just how much of a safety net I needed. Things have changed for me now, but I recognize the wide array of boundaries and I really try to enforce them in my life.

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  • November 2, 2019 at 7:31 am

    Boundaries are good; but somebody has to be skillfull to benefit from using it.
    Is just like rationality. You can’t use rationality in all your decision making.
    Use boundaries with smartness and tactics.
    We should remember our boundaries should be flexible and adjustable depending on the situation.

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  • December 11, 2019 at 10:32 am

    A great article – thanks. One thing that used to confuse me, especially when I was young, was deciding if a boundary was valid or not. Let’s take the example you gave of the coworker barging into your office without knocking. Suppose that despite your gut reaction to a boundary being crossed (I would feel the same way as you), maybe you feel that you should be more flexible in your life or even that this is something you want to work on. Then that creates confusion about the boundary. So it can boil down to a conflict between should I set a rigid rule or should I be flexible/adventurous. Sometimes a person doesn’t want to admit to themselves they don’t want to be adventurous in a particular area. I’m not referring to obvious things that should have boundaries but more subtle ones.

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