7 thoughts on “Say Good Riddance to “Good Girl Syndrome”

  • March 8, 2019 at 12:54 pm

    Thanks Sharon. A daily work in progress for me. Even a few months ago I was told by my 90 year old mother to ‘just drink your wine and be quiet’ like scolding a small child. After years of this behaviour and never saying anything I calmly responded that no, I would not be quiet. Have relinquished the ‘good girl’s role.

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  • March 8, 2019 at 6:03 pm

    For me, the syndrome alone is enough. But when you mix in conditioning and beliefs we are taught as Christians, it compounds the impact of the issues that occur. Not just the confusion, misconception. and fear that comes with the possiblity of disappointing people in my life, but disappointing God. Not to mention the “judgement” some Faith’s teach will come upon us if we do so. The “forgiving others 70 times 7”; and “turn the other cheek”, “do unto to others, as you would have them do unto you”… and so on. Some Faith’s teach to set boundaries, and standing up for yourself, etc. is wrong, unholy, ungodly. What an eye opener this article has been.

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    • March 15, 2019 at 9:18 pm

      C:

      One reason Christian women are taught to forgive, turn the other cheek, etc., is that Christianity is patriarchal, supporting male dominance and control of women–physically, financially, psychologically and spiritually. Hence witch burning in the not-so-distance past of any woman with an unapologetic mind of her own. Highly recommend Andrea Dworkin’s writings for some perspective.

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  • March 9, 2019 at 7:02 am

    I recognize very well my personality hearing the words “perfectionist” and I was told by my mother since a very young age to be “a good girl”.I don’t like these words but my experience is that it is difficult to stop being a perfectionist .
    Helene

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  • March 11, 2019 at 12:08 pm

    Be nice. Wait your turn. Don’t talk back. Be respectful. Be nice.
    Wait your turn. Set a good example. Be nice. Think of the other person. Hold in your feelings.
    Be nice. Be kind. Don’t say anything that would hurt anyone.

    Many of us were taught these things, well maybe not all of these things.
    Although I grew up where most people are Christian, this is not about Christian values.
    I have been to many synagogues and shul, I have heard many Rabbis talk about all of this.
    My Jewish family was all about being nice. So are my Jewish friends, and non Jewish friends.
    I’m proud to be a kind Jewish woman to pretty much anyone. But it sure isn’t easy. But it has become easier since I own it. I am proud of being kind and caring and would never want it to be any other way!!!!!!!!!!!!
    To be treated with kindness one must be kind, expect kindness and insist on being with kind people.

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  • March 23, 2019 at 3:29 am

    THANK YOU Sharon. What an invaluable article for me. In my mid-forties I am still learning to “unlearn” to be a “good girl”.

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