6 thoughts on “Don’t Rely on Others to Validate Your Feelings

  • May 25, 2018 at 3:17 pm

    So good Sharon. It’s taken me a very long time to realise that other people aren’t necessarily going to “get” me and my validation has to come from myself.

  • May 25, 2018 at 10:33 pm

    I just don’t agree. As someone who suffered depression and when I was in deep black thoughts I had a friend who constantly told me something happens for a reason and god has a plan and that gave me hope, when I couldn’t find hope anywhere else. She helped me so mucho to look at the positive side when I wasn’t able to do it. If it wasn’t for her then I would have stayed in my dark thoughs and honestly it was awful. So I don’t believe this is helpful.

    Yes, accept how are you feeling but if you want to get out of that feeling you have to try hard to look and think other way , if not you get stuck in your victim place.

    I loved that I had a personal cheerleader who never told me I was wrong feeling what I was feeling but she always tried to make me change this feelings that were hurting.

    • May 26, 2018 at 4:16 pm

      You are so lucky to have somebody in your corner to help you through the bad times. We all need good support systems or support people in our lives. To me this article is saying if we look for “outside” validation then we will never be happy; that our worth is not found from the outside but the inside. It’s not saying that we should struggle alone; we all need connection. It’s up to us to give ourselves pats on the back and encouragement. Mind you, it’s always lovely to get it from others as well. I think this article is saying don’t rely on it from others all the time.

  • May 26, 2018 at 2:51 am

    I have had severe trauma in my life. It has finally caught up with me. I am a HSP and have been all by life. Lately (after being married to a Malignant Narcissist for 12) I find I am very emotional. I feel alone, unloved and no longer able to form friendships. I’m 6 months in my new job. I was told yesterday, by a coworker, in front of my supervisor, that she and my other 2 team members, are sick to death of dealing with my insecurities and my personality in general. My Supervisor, in front of her, told me I needed a therapist and probably medication. My job was in jeopardy. 2 weeks ago, the same Supervisor, told me how well I was doing and how everyone had nice things to say about me. I am now in a deep depression feeling that I am worthless, will never fit in and my teammates want me gone. I am not mean, or cruel to anyone. The person who made those comments, is a self proclaimed “Cold hearted bitch”. But still, my boss did nothing to correct her. I don’t know what to do. I admit if I could find a painless way to off myself, I would be greatly tempted to take it. Talk about having your feelings invalidated! I see no way out and I’m of the age that I will never find employment if I quit. I feel totally hopeless.

  • July 1, 2018 at 3:34 am

    Some of the invalididation sayings are things people say to try to validate. It would be great if you also posted validating statements because people need to be educated on what to say not just what not to say. People don’t have the words so they say what they think will help not knowing the psychology of the impact or knowledge of trauma.


Join the Conversation!

We invite you to share your thoughts and tell us what you think in this public forum. Before posting, please read our blog moderation guidelines. A first name or pseudonym is required and will be displayed with your comment. Your email address is also required, but will be kept private. (Please note that we use gravatars here, which are tied to your email address.) A website/blog/twitter address is optional.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *