3 thoughts on “Coping with Codependent Guilt

  • March 23, 2018 at 3:04 pm

    Thanks Sharon, this is a great read! “…many codependents experience inappropriate guilt; they feel bad about things they didn’t do, couldn’t control, or that weren’t their responsibility”. Once we get past this way of thinking then things start to change. It’s taken me many years to let go of stuff that never belonged to me in the first place.

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  • April 27, 2018 at 7:26 am

    I find it highly offensive that therapists and experts in the field of mental health apply the negative label of CoDependent to victims of emotional and/or psychological abuse implying the are both addicted and complicit in the abusive behavior of others. This is victim blaming and it needs to stop.

    By definition Co is defined as with; jointly; together, mutual. Dependency is defined as a state of needing something or someone.

    So by definition, we are saying that abuse is needed by both parties and the victim of the abuse is mutually participating in mistreating themselves.

    Stop the victim blaming; stop the victim shaming.

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    • April 27, 2018 at 3:08 pm

      Simply put co-dependents “caretake”. It is something that, for me, started in childhood. It was to keep the peace, don’t rock the boat, do as you’re told mentality. This meant that as a child I would have to have certain tactics to survive. This meant that I would do anything and everything to make my mother approve of me. These habits stay with you into adulthood and into other relationships. It was only with change and awareness that I was able to help myself. Co-dependents don’t want to be abused either physically, emotionally or psychologically but they enable behaviour in an effort to have peace in their lives. They also form “bonds” with their abusers which are very difficult to break.

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