5 thoughts on “How to Set Energetic Boundaries and Stay True to Yourself

  • January 12, 2018 at 1:06 pm

    Sharon I totally concur with your “how to set energetic boundaries piece” that’s me, keep the peace at all costs wherever I am. But my thought is what about if its your family, children, parents, etc.. will this come off as I don’t care about what you’re feeling? The reason I pose this question is I have a very positive way about me, up lifted spirit, reasonable, kind, etc.. and don’t like dealing with conflict it does something to my soul & attacks my optimistic self, which is quite frustrating. I listen, advise, speak on it and kind of leave it alone. Therefore, I’ve been told by some family that it seems I don’t care but I do!

    • January 12, 2018 at 2:20 pm

      Unfortunately we have to deal with conflict in our lives and it is important that we learn how to deal with it. “Peace at all costs” is not a good way to live. I’ve been there and eventually it leads to resentment, anger and frustration. People treat you like a doormat.

    • January 13, 2018 at 12:14 pm

      I think the key distinction here is that you can listen and even empathize with other people but not “take on” their feelings or opinions. Your goal is to see yourself as a completely separate person who can think, feel, and act in ways that are right for you. So, for example, if my husband is ranting and raving about how awful our neighbors are, I can listen and try to understand his point of view, but I’m free to form my own opinion and feel different than he does. If I show my husband that I’m interested in his feelings, it won’t come off as I don’t care. I just don’t have to agree!

    • January 13, 2018 at 1:21 pm

      Hi Cheryl –
      The idea with energetic boundaries that I was trying to convey in the article is that it’s important that we have a clear sense of self, and that we don’t allow others to take over our sense of self. This doesn’t have to lead to conflict. You can be clear on who you are in your own “energetic bubble”, and consciously meet others where they are out at the “edge” of that space. It’s like your energetic skin – we connect with our world through our skin and the sense of touch, but it would be pretty bad if we didn’t have skin and took everything in our environment into our bodies, wouldn’t it? So the energetic boundaries are “skin” that allows us to touch and feel what others experience, but doesn’t allow us to absorb the experience of others like a sponge. We can actually be more compassionate and loving because we won’t be burdened or upset by the energy or emotions that they carry – we can listen, care, and be present instead.

      • July 3, 2018 at 5:08 pm

        A great article! I’ve often absorbed other’s feelings or behaviour and have thought that I had done something “wrong”. This is probably a trigger from childhood conditioning. Now I use “the cone of silence” taken from Get Smart. I love this analogy and it’s helped me numerous times in coping with difficult people. It lets me “separate” myself from them and their behaviour and/or emotions.


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