5 thoughts on “Can I Be Codependent if I Had a Good Childhood?

  • July 8, 2017 at 3:06 am

    Codependency can even arise from “too much of a good thing”. For instance, from learning about certain prosocial behaviors such as being present, being friendly and listening, and deciding that “more is more”. If listening makes others like us, then letting the other person have the floor and not offering conversation in return will make them like us even more. If being friendly gives us good relationships, then being a ray of sunshine who stuffs our every negative thought will give us even better relationships.

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  • July 9, 2017 at 11:01 am

    Alcoholic’s in my family tree:

    My dad, his dad, his grandfather. Dads sister. All died of the affects of alcoholism.

    Mum’s dad. Mum’s 2 brothers + my own brother died from the affects of alcohol.

    In addition, seven first cousins in the family all died from alchoholism.

    My first husband turned out to be an alcoholic. I’m sure my sister is an alcoholic too. My surviving brother drinks far too much.

    That is some family tree of alcoholics and some tree of dysfuntional ways of thinking and behaving.

    When I was still a child I vowed that I would never drink alcohol and to this day I haven’t. I’m now 66. I’m also the outsider in the family because I don’t live the same lifestyle as the rest. That is throwing booze down my throat until it kills me. I seem to have been the outsider looking in wondering what it is that’s wrong with them all that they need alcohol to survive.

    I’ve paid a high price for being different and leading a very different lifestyle. In essence I have not had a loving, sober family to be around and share with.

    My son who is 39, won’t touch alcohol thank god.

    By the way, we are all Scottish, the land of whisky and alcoholics galore.

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    • July 14, 2017 at 12:44 pm

      Hi Sally,
      Thanks for sharing your experience. I’m sure many can relate to having so many alcoholics in their family and being the outsider because they chose differently.
      best wishes,
      Sharon

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  • June 13, 2019 at 5:05 am

    You are SO RIGHT! “Parenting is VERY, VERY, VERY hard.”
    We moved our three children several times, due to work related promotions. At the time, I thought that just keeping the family together was the best choice. In hindsight, I can see the trauma that it caused in my children. At this point, I really do not know how to help them to maneuver through their insecurities, people-pleasing, “fixer-relationships” and anxious personalities. I wish that I could just have a do-over. There is so much that I have learned from my experience and from reading about codepency. It is hard to see the future but I want to thank you for writing with such clarity and I pray that the young parents out there will have the foresight to make choices that will strengthen their families for the troubled times that WILL come.

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