4 thoughts on “10 Steps to Setting Healthy Boundaries

  • May 24, 2016 at 8:30 pm

    These steps are wonderful! Very clear and such an important topics for self-esteem and healthy relationships. Thanks Sharon, wonderful blog as usual!

    Reply
  • June 9, 2016 at 4:23 pm

    I’ve been thinking of setting bounderies with my son’s girlfriend, who used my friendship to gain his attention, manipulated me, lied to me and lost my trust in her. He wants to marry her. He is rebelling at the moment and not listening to anyones advise about this girl. I’ve tried reasoning with him but he just says what I say is untruth and made up. Meaning he is calling me a liar and saying I am making up false behaviors of hers. She is 27 and he is 21. She is what one would call a ‘hussy’ and can’t be trusted. She hurt me deeply and has not done anything to be genuinely sorry to make things right between us. I’m wondering if bounderies would be a good move at this time. One boundery I’m thinking of is that she would not be allowed to come over to visit us but my son is always welcome in his home, just not her. Any advise you could give me would be appreciated as I’ve been dealing with this issue for a year now and really need help.

    Reply
    • June 10, 2016 at 12:04 am

      Barbara,
      Yes, boundaries are in order. Boundaries define what behavior you’ll accept and what you won’t. I can’t tell you exactly what boundaries make sense, but I think you’re on the right track with your thinking. Your son and his girlfriend probably won’t like your boundaries (so except resistance), but that doesn’t mean you’re wrong to ask for the treatment you deserve. Anytime you’re feeling mistreated, abused, or resentful, there’s a good chance that stronger boundaries are needed.
      Good luck! And thank you for reading.
      Sharon

      Reply
  • June 24, 2018 at 4:15 pm

    What about boundaries when you ask someone to do something, instead of not doing it? This is where I struggle the most and I have a tendency to put up with neglectful behaviors. For instance, when somebody says they will call you but they don’t: how to address that?

    For me, it’s definitely easier to say “Could you please stop?” then “Could you please do it?” I always feel like I’m trying to control when I ask for some actions.

    Reply
 

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