These were the top 10 articles about codependency and self-esteem on my blog, Happily Imperfect, from 2017.
As we close out another year, it’s always fun to look back at which articles resonated most with my readers. Among them are a series of articles about attachment styles, articles about how growing up with alcoholic parents affect us during childhood and into adulthood, and information about codependency, setting boundaries, and healthy relationships.
If you missed reading any of these articles when they were first published, be sure to read them now or bookmark them for later!
#1: You Don’t Get a Childhood When You Grow Up in an Alcoholic Family
Many adult children of alcoholics (ACOAs) feel like they never had a childhood. They don’t remember playing or having friends sleep over. They don’t remember feeling carefree and safe. Children in families impacted by alcoholism often describe their childhoods as confusing, unpredictable, chaotic, and fearful.
#2: How Addiction Impacts the Family: 6 Family Roles in a Dysfunctional or Alcoholic Family
Alcoholism or any type of addiction affects everyone in the family in some way. Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse, a respected expert in the field of addictions and codependency, identified six primary roles in an alcoholic family as a way to highlight the effects of alcoholism on the alcoholic’s spouse and children.
#3: What’s My Attachment Style and Why Does it Matter?
We all learn about human relationships from our first relationships – those with our parents or primary caregivers. Understanding your attachment style can help you get to the root of your relationship troubles.
#4: 10 Things You Need to Know About Codependency
Codependency is often misunderstood. It’s not just a label to slap on the spouse of every alcoholic. It encompasses a wide-range of behavior and thought patterns that cause people distress to varying degrees. I hope this article will help clear up some of the misconceptions about codependency and help you to understand codependency better.
#5: 4 Signs You’re Dating a Narcissist – Guest Post by Kimberly Sandstrom, LMFT
Do you feel unimportant, like an accessory, and alone in your relationship? Does your partner exhibit the characteristics of narcissism listed below? While everyone has some narcissistic traits, only a small percentage (about 1% of the population, and mainly men) have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are notoriously difficult to be in relationship with, leaving their partners feeling unimportant, negative about themselves, incompetent, alone, and sometimes crazy!
#6: What Is an Avoidant Attachment Style and How Can I Change It?
People with an avoidant attachment style struggle with deep intimacy and trust. They’ll unconsciously create situations and reasons to leave or sabotage close relationships. They tend to connect and then pull away when the relationship feels too intense. Their relationships tend to be shallow, as a result. They don’t talk about or notice their feelings very much. They keep their emotions under lock and key and often lack awareness of their own feelings, especially vulnerable feelings like weakness, embarrassment, or failure.
#7: Codependency and the Art of Detaching From Dysfunctional Family Members
Detaching is an effective way to cope with a codependent relationship or any toxic or dysfunctional relationship, whether it’s with an alcoholic parent, an addicted child, or a narcissistic spouse.
#8: Adult Children of Alcoholics and the Need to Feel in Control
Feeling out of control is scary for most people, but even more so for adult children of alcoholics (ACOAs). Living with an alcoholic or addict is scary and unpredictable, especially when you’re a child. Trying to control people and situations is a coping strategy that children of alcoholics develop to deal with chaotic and dysfunctional family situations. It is normal and adaptive. In other words, your desire to control everything in your life is an understandable outcome of growing up in an overwhelming and traumatic family environment.
#9: How to Set Boundaries When You’re a Highly Sensitive Person – Guest post by April Snow, AMFT
How often do you accommodate requests from friends or loved ones despite being too tired or overwhelmed? Does it feel easier to bypass your own need for downtime rather than risk disappointing someone or admitting your limitations? In order to maintain connections, whether they be personal or professional, we often develop a strategy of saying “yes” when we really want to say “no”. Constantly obliging the wishes of others when we’re on empty is harmful to everyone, but especially for the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).
#10: What Is an Anxious Attachment Style and How Can I Change It?
If you have an anxious attachment style, you tend to feel insecure and need frequent reassurances. This can feel overly needy to those with secure or avoidant attachment styles. You crave close intimate connections. You may find ways to test or manipulate your partner to find out if s/he really loves you. Your need for closeness and intimacy never seems satisfied and you’re left wondering if your partner really wants to be with you.
Thank you to all of you who read Happily Imperfect regularly, leave comments, and make suggestions for improving the blog. I look forward to providing more helpful articles about codependency and self-acceptance in 2018. I wish you the very best for the new year.
Popular posts from previous years:
©2017 Sharon Martin, LCSW. All rights reserved.
Photos #2, 5, 6, 7 and 10 from FreeDigitalPhotos.net. All others from Unsplash.com.