Archives for September, 2016

Boundaries

How to Stop Dating the “Wrong” People and Attract Healthy Love


“What am I missing? Why do I keep choosing the wrong men?” Maria asked me. A smart, successful, 35 year-old, Maria came to see me for therapy after her third break-up in as many years. She was tired of dating and tired of having her heart broken.

Maria isn’t alone in feeling a like failure when it comes to relationships. Things always seem promising at the start of her relationships. In...
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codependency

How to Stop Being an Approval Junkie

Do you ever image how freeing it would be to just not give a damn?

If you’re an “approval junkie” or people-pleaser, the idea of not caring about what other people think sounds like freedom. You could do what you want, be who you really are, and say what you’re thinking, all without concern for other people’s opinions or judgments.

Approval isn’t all created equally

Even though not caring sounds...
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self-compassion

9 Simple Ways to Love Yourself

"Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect” - Kristin Neff,

Life can be hard. We all screw up sometimes. We get frustrated and lose our temper. We regret things said or left unsaid. Our children struggle with learning disabilities or...
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Self-worth

How to Overcome Feeling Insecure and Needy in Your Relationships

Many people feel insecure at least some of the time. Some people feel insecure most of the time about most things. Other people may occasionally feel insecure or only in certain situations or with certain people.

Explore why you’re feeling insecure

Sometimes insecurity is the result of trauma. If you’ve experienced a betrayal or hurt, such as cheating or lying or abuse in your current or past relationship, it’s normal...
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self-compassion

20 Journaling Prompts to Help You Know and Accept Yourself


Journaling is one of my favorite therapeutic interventions. There’s something almost magical about putting pen to paper and seeing what emerges.

Writing takes all of the things that are jumbled around in your head and brings them to awareness. Journaling can help clarify your thoughts and feelings. The paper also provides a “holding space” for your fears, worries and hurts, allowing you to come back to them...
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codependency

How to Support Your Partner in Addiction Recovery (Without Enabling)


 

Realizing your partner has a problem with alcohol, drugs, sex, pornography, gambling, or any other addiction is a very painful reality. The best case scenario is that your partner also recognizes his/her addiction and seeks help in order to recover.

Unfortunately, recovery doesn’t go in a straight line. Most addicts struggle with denial, relapse, and changing long-standing thinking and behavior patterns. Recovery is a long, hard road for most....
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codependency

When is it Time to Leave Your Addicted Partner?


 

Deciding whether to end a relationship is a big decision. In fact, it’s one of the things I see people struggle with the most as a therapist.

For a codependent, the decision to leave an addicted partner is especially hard.

You’ve tried and tried, but things don’t ever seem to get better (or at least not for long).

You’re low on self-esteem.

You’ve devoted mountains of time to taking care of and trying to fix...
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