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Archives for April, 2016


How to Stop Being So Needy and Dependent

If you’re like most people, you’d like to have a stronger, happier marriage or romantic relationship. We all have a core need to be in relationship with others, and to experience a sense of love and belonging. We want to feel needed, but not be overly needy and clingy. This tends to repel people, not draw them to us. It seems counter-intuitive, but the way to stop...
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26 Questions To Help You Know Yourself Better

Do you have a clear sense of who you are?
Developmentally, we wrestle with "finding ourselves" as teens and young adults. Then we often revisit these questions in middle age. It's both normal and essential to seek self-understanding. In order to accept ourselves and establish a sense of belonging, we need to understand who we are. A strong sense of self helps us navigate life and brings meaning to our...
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12 Ways to Beat Impostor Syndrome

I'm a fake.

I'm a phony.

I don't belong here.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

I'm a fraud.

I don't have what it takes.

I'm not like the rest of the people here.

I'm inadequate.

I don't deserve this success.

I don't know what gave me the idea that I'm smart enough, pretty enough, experienced enough.

People are going to find out.

If this is what goes through your mind, you may have "impostor syndrome."

Impostor Syndrome is an ironic thing. The...
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Overcoming Perfectionism

Therapy Chat: Perfectionism, Codependency, and Worthiness


Recently I had the honor of being interviewed on the Therapy Chat podcast.  Therapy Chat is hosted by Laura Reagan, LCSW-C, a psychotherapist in the Baltimore area and a fellow "recovering perfectionist". Laura and I had an amazing conversation all about my favorite subjects: perfectionism, codependency, anxiety, and worthiness.

You can listen to the episode here:
Episode 28: Understanding Perfectionism
Be sure to listen all the way to...
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Is Codependency Blaming the Victim?


When someone first suggested I was codependent, I was offended and angry. I thought codependency implied that I was to blame for what happened to me.

I was incredibly hurt by the notion that I was part of the problem. I was the victim! I wanted everyone to know that I was the injured party and not responsible in any way for the despicable and harmful behaviors of my loved...
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What Causes Codependency?

Once people recognize that they have codependent traits, they often begin to wonder where these codependent tendencies came from. Why are some people susceptible to codependency in their adult relationships? What causes codependency? Why is it so hard to break free from codependent relationships?

While the answers aren't the same for everyone, for most people it begins in childhood. This is important because children are extremely impressionable. Young children don’t have the...
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Are You A Sleep Procrastinator?

I often stay up too late.
Staying up late is one of my bad habits. There is always one more email to write, one more dish to wash, one more episode of The Big Bang Theory to watch. Like a lot of parents, I crave some time to myself after the kids go to bed. I am a sleep procrastinator.
What is sleep procrastination?
I wasn't actually sure that sleep procrastination is a "real...
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