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You’re Not an Insecure, Wishy-Washy Failure

You're not an Insecure, Wishy-Washy Failure

I went to see the new Peanuts Movie last weekend with my nine year-old. Honestly, I wan’t that excited about seeing it, but was pleasantly surprised that it was sweet, funny, and full of plenty of references to the original comic strip and TV specials.

Note: This post may contain spoilers for The Peanuts Movie (not that there is much of a plot!).

Do you feel like Charlie Brown?

Charlie Brown and the rest of the Peanuts gang see him as a blockhead – a loser defined by his mistakes. Nothing seems to go right from Charlie Brown. His kite always ends up in a tree. His book report blows away in the wind. He slips and turns on the sprinkler system, ruining the school dance. So, Charlie Brown decides he needs a fresh start and seeks the answers from the book 10 Ways to be a Winner so he can impress the Little Red-Haired Girl.

Can you relate? Are you hustling for your self-worth? Are you trying to prove yourself, but never feeling worthy?

The truth is Charlie Brown isn’t a loser. Sure, he’s a bit clumsy and makes more mistakes than the rest of the gang. That’s not the problem.

The problem is you let mistakes (or accomplishments) define you.

When you focus on your mistakes and failures, like Charlie Brown, you lose sight of your good qualities. This focus on the negative, creates an unbalanced sense of self. We all have strengths and weaknesses. We all have successes and failures. It’s important to have an accurate view of yourself that takes into account more than your imperfections.You're not an insecure wishy-washy failure

Eventually Charlie Brown realizes that he’s learned from his mistakes. All those failed attempts to fly a kite taught him about perseverance and eventually how to do it successfully. And the Little Red-Haired Girl points out that he’s caring, honest, and brave.  She can see beyond his embarrassing mistakes.

Don’t wait for someone else to point out your strengths.

Find them yourself. It’s your opinion that matters the most! Don’t focus just on your accomplishments, but also on your character traits and skills. Intentionally look for things you do right, things you’re proud of, good qualities in yourself. Write them down and review your list of things you like about yourself.



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kite image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono at

You’re Not an Insecure, Wishy-Washy Failure

Sharon Martin, LCSW

Sharon Martin is a licensed psychotherapist and codependency expert practicing in San Jose, CA. She is the author of The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism: Evidence-Based Skills to Help You Let Go of Self-Criticism, Build Self-Esteem, and Find Balance and several ebooks including Navigating the Codependency Maze.  

To learn more, visit Sharon's website. And please sign-up for free access to her resource library HERE (worksheets, tips, meditations, and resources for healing codependency, perfectionism, anxiety and more).

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APA Reference
Martin, S. (2018). You’re Not an Insecure, Wishy-Washy Failure. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 13, 2020, from


Last updated: 1 Jan 2018
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