Trigger WARNING: Suicidal Intent and Imagery – Trigger WARNING: Referencing topic on Self-Injury (Self-Harm) or Non-Suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI).
Early in 2004, I was having an issue with depression and it just got out of control. When my medications prescribed to treat my depression sent me into a hallucinogenic tailspin, ultimately landing me in the crisis stabilization unit.
Branded the date of the event permanently on forearm — my “version of a suicide note” a reporter would call it later in an interview.
I share this not to for any shock value or to brag. But to help people see because some get help once or twice or 77 times, it does mean they are out of the woods.
This is a process that has its ups and downs – I was only four months out of the hospital when I wrote the poem below “Here But Gone”.
UPDATE: 10/31/18 When originally posted I had the “Trigger Warning” in the title and just above the poem. I forgot to add the large text Trigger Warning as I did at the top of this post, as I did with the other three in this series. I just added it to this post. I apology for anyone who did not read any my other post who would have seen I went over and above many other “trigger warning” blog post. I also edited how the reporter described my self-harm.
“Trigger WARNING: Suicidal Intent and Imagery – Trigger WARNING: Referencing topic on Self-Injury (Self-Harm) or Non-Suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI). ”
Poem By Chato Stewart
Trigger WARNING: Suicidal Intent and Imagery – Bullet reference, Implying Death As Solution
HERE BUT GONE
Chato B. Stewart November 10, 2004
The time of joy …gone
The time of remembrance … gone
The time of laughter …gone
The time it-self …gone
I’m still here.
I’m still here?
I’m still here!
The time for balance …gone
The time for control …gone
The time for understanding …gone
The time it-self …gone
A mind in a windstorm,
emotions at polar opposites and fear takes hold.
Instinct sets in…Silent cries for help unheard.
The core of a man, a shell of a failure…
Here but gone.
Originally Posted at Chato Stewart’s Mental Health Humor at Psych Central: https://blogs.psychcentral.com/humor
We’ve talked about taking medication the last few blog posts. Whether you are for medication or for something stronger and all natural like COFFEE, I feel it’s a personal choice.
Stewart, Chato. (2018). Poem. Psych Central. Retrieved on Oct 30, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/humor/2018/10/creative-poetry-by-chato/
IF YOU CAN READ THIS IT’S BECAUSE MY BLOG POST IS STOLEN AND REPUBLISHED WITHOUT PERMISSION –
HELP ME AND ONLY READ MY POST ON PSYCH CENTRAL – MENTAL HEALTH HUMOR