This IS NOT THEIR fault, it’s NOT OUR fault, it’s not the family’s fault, no one is to blame, it’s the nature of the mental illness. Like waves of the sea pounding, and slamming against the rock–eroding rock slowly till it breaks. And trust me, unless things change, we will lose friends and will have loved ones turn their backs on us, and even once strong, loving, and caring marriages can crumble.
Here is a good example from the viewpoint of the caregiver of a person living with depression.
Alex Alexander, wrote the 10 Common Challenges When Your Spouse Has Depression*: https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2016/11/04/10-common-challenges-when-your-spouse-has-depression/
- Your Depressed Partner May Have Suicidal Thoughts.
- You Always Have to Be An Advocate.
- You Feel Like a Google Search Engine for Depression.
- You Feel Guilty About Your Own Happiness.
- Your Social Calendar is Restricted by Your Partner’s Depression.
- You Are a Target for Their Anger.
- You Sometimes Feel You Are Walking On Eggshells.
- Your Sex Life Has Seriously Diminished.
- You Always Want to Make Your Partner Better.
- You Constantly Hide Your Worry0”.
Pegi Burdick or Your Tango opened up on a post about the “Real Reason” she “Divorced” her “Depressed Husband.”
I was married to a man who was financially broke and borderline depressed. In the beginning of our marriage, I was fine with his passivity because he was always letting me make all the decisions, large and small…But, as time moved on and we had to navigate bigger decisions, like selling my house, moving, career changes and his health limitations, his attitude became stressful and I became angry.
Yet I was not in touch with my anger. It showed up as withdrawal of affection and my husband and I became like roommates, not lovers or two people committed to each other ’till death do us part.’
I am very nurturing, and taking care of him started to wear me down. I was not getting my needs met… ~ Pegi Burdick Contributor**
Psych Central. (2016). 10 Common Challenges When Your Spouse Has Depression. Psych Central. Retrieved on June 30, 2017, from https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2016/11/04/10-common-challenges-when-your-spouse-has-depression
**Pegi Burdick Contributor. (2016). The Real Reason I Divorced My Depressed Husband. Your Tango. Retrieved on June 30, 2017, from http://www.yourtango.com/experts/pegi-burdick/why-I-stayed-married-to-depressed-man