The commentator who asked me “Do You Think Two Bipolars Should Be Married”?  They lived that kind of storm for over a decade.  The were also experiencing combat-related PTSD, and later they themselves received a diagnosed with bipolar.  Now they both are living with the devastating effects of bipolar disorder.

The relationship was a tough marriage and went from and intense roller coaster to an unstoppable train wreck. They say,”I think if only one of us had been mentally ill our relationship would have worked out.” But what they say next and what they ask me is why I’m writing this post? My goal is answer the question and help dispell this misnomer about mental illness and marriage.

They ask:
“I don’t think two bi polars should be married. What do you think, sir?”

Simple but loaded question right?

Victimology:  The writer is labeling themselves as the illness, this could increase a lot of misunderstanding of what Bipolar Disorder is and what it is not. It’s not a person, people first teach us to look at the person then the illness, their needs, wants, dignity. Not to give the illness any power. This goes with any mental illness or disorder, we are not it, it does not define us.

Education: Marriage is messy, happy marriages take work, lots of work. There has to be love, flexibility, commitment, and forgiveness – Oh and lot and lots of chocolate! A marriage tested, and weathered the storms.

The answer is yes, and the answer is no.  The answer comes down to wanting to do the work to stay well, and doing the work together.

Is it going to easy? No.  Is it going to perfect, No!  Can you do it, yes!

5/5/17 UPDATE: Also, see: When One Bipolar Marries Another: An Interview with Shannon Flynn 

 

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