If you have “anger issues,” then getting the right type of help may be what can bring joy to your days or make you a less-grumpy fun-less person that people just want to avoid.
Studies show 2 Out of 8 Men Have Uncontrolled Anger Issues, it doesn’t fair much better for women. We are about equal, however, men seem prone to more vocal “outbursts” of anger. Women tend to internalize anger to some degree, which does not mean woman and men don’t express anger outbursts totally differently. With some men, the point when yelling turns to physical altercation is shorter then with some woman.
With Anger Issues, it’s like having a fuse on a fire cracker…for a long time, it was very short then with help–the fuse got extended longer… Do you have a short fuse? It’s a simple analogy that’s so true. I had a short fuse, any stupid, little thing would set me off in a rage: while driving or dealing with people and/or dealing with family. I still have to keep an eye on my fuse. My anger is/was mostly self-internalized. Now, I’m learning to use Anger Constructively and put it in its right place. Yes, you can use anger for good… simple example, say I’m working on a project like fixing my computer – I could get mad at it – pick it up and toss it out the window. Then get a sledge hammer and finish it off. Or I could constructively control my anger and focus it – turning it into passion to fix my computer and work on it night and day till I finally give up…and bring it to Best Buys GEEK SQUAD TECH SUPPORT that fixes it, at the desk in two clicks of her mouse, while I wasted two days of my LIFE trying to fix it!
How do you deal with angry people? Well, in my (Chato Stewart) Mental Health Humor cartoon, I give you some advice that has worked for me in the past many times… It falls more on the idea of making them laugh. Nonetheless, I’ve have been able to defuse angry outburst with confusion… One time one a bus, two school friends (20 years ago) were getting verbally accosted by a man who had been drinking… He was in a rage and it was on the verge of violence – no one did anything and I could see in their eyes, they we afraid. I sat between the girls and this man, he looked at me as if he wanted to fight, screaming at me to “start something.” I did. I started reciting tongue-twisters and speaking gibberish (fake/made up words). His yelling turned in to questions, but I never broke character. I just kept talking nonsense. While he did not laugh, he did stop yelling, confused as to what I was doing…called me a dumb foreigner and got off at the next stop! The two girls were laughing and thankful. That was the first time I used confusion, it would not be the last.
Disclaimer: this (confusion defusion) is not a researched scientific anger management tool per se…just a personal strategy that has worked for me in the past. I take no responsibility for broken noses, arms, legs or any bones or damaged property…IF you choose to employ confusion defusion anger management therapy in dealing with any enraged angry outbursts.