2011 Mental Health humor Valet parking attendant - I feel so unvalidated

[Chato is at work and is standing in a car parking lot wearing a valet vest.]

Sign: [Valet Parking Attendant]

Caption: I feel so unvalidated!

(Audio for the blind or visually impaired:)

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Are you a Validator Or Self-Validator? Read this for more Validation.

Validation, appreciation, and self-worth…why is it we, carbonbased life forms, require such things?!

Joanna Goldman, Life Coach ofOne Step Training and Life Coaching says that there are varying, distinct differences between Validators and Self-Validators.

Validators tend to hesitate, they procrastinate and they doubt themselves. They ask for advice, opinions and they ask others to validate their ideas.

Self -Validators are go-getters, they are action takers, and they’re goal setters and goal getters. To value your own ideas and your own feelings of what is right and good can only lead to living a life that is yours and yours to own, success or failure.

It is very possible and likely that we are both validators needing validation and at the same time self-validators in different aspects of our lives.  It is also very possible that we fit the criteria of solely one or the other. Joanna Goldman says to figure this out we can answer just a few simple questions.

Answer theses questions for yourself:

  1. I doubt my own ideas   (True or False)
  2. I often tell your ideas to others; with the intention of finding out if they think the ideas are right and good (True or False)
  3. I feel I need to ask for permission from others, to act on your ideas (True or False)
  4. I procrastinate a lot (True or False)
  5. I get excited about my own ideas, and then when I tell someone else, I’ll feel a little unnerved about their response?(True or False)

If you answered: True to 3 or more you are NOT a  Self -Validators. (i.e. you need validation)

If you answered: False, 3 or more you are Self-Validators. (i.e. you need NO validation)

Self-validation is simply the ability to recognize that you are a complete person! You know you’re okay. You also recognize that you don’t need anyone  or anything external but yourself to declare that you are perfectly fine as a person – you have the power to compensate for any lack of perceived or imagined validation…  You are yourself and you’re happy!

Gosh darn it! I just failed the test!!! I am not  self-validated!  I need validation, I yearn for validation… a little validation can go a long way!

We don’t always get enough validation in this world…. When we accept responsibility for our lives and our choices, and we give ourselves permission to become self-validating, we no longer seek nor need validation from anyone else. However, we need to be very clear with ourselves about how high we set the bar as far as ethics go. Don’t cheat yourself by placing that bar too low, or you never really will achieve the self-esteem and the self-validation that you seek because it will be based on standards that are inadequate. When we show humility and humbleness, we become empowered.


Do you need help with paranoia? Make a FREE Trust List sheet PDF file: FREE – The Trust List.

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